There are many, many things that can bring pain into Parents’ Hearts…
I’ve been Fortunate enough to experience my fair share. I guess all of us Parents do.
There is one thing that makes me feel completely Impotent! Useless!
Not being able to make my Beautiful Daughter see just how Special, Brilliant, Amazing, Wonderful and Beautiful she IS!
With Society telling her she’s not as good as Model A or Actress B…I feel it is an uphill battle.
My Husband has been reading a book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father
Should Know by Margaret J. Meeker M.D. It is through him, and through his reading several “Dad” books that I have been learning just how powerful a Father’s Influence is over his “Little Girl.”
NO! I take that back. I have ALWAYS had a Father in the picture, I just never was truly aware of His Presence, of His Love for me until fairly recent. The Dad to which I am referring is the Biological Procreator (redundant, I know, I just like the sound of it, and it also makes it a further step detached). Having lacked this Experience, I guess I am quite ignorant to its effect. Although, I guess one could say that I have had many an experience that can attest to the lack of Paternal Unit. I am far from being a statistic, and yet, as I said, I have had my fair share of incidents where had I benefitted from a Dad being around, perhaps the outcome would have been different or the incident would have been avoided altogether, but that is a moot point.
The point is…I am learning the Power of Dads on their Little Girls. I am seeing it. I am seeing what the lack of Daddy telling his Little Girl how Beautiful she is, how Intelligent she is, how Special she is, how the ONLY being that Loves her more than himself is God is (awkward sentence, I know, but I had to share that one with you, thank you NINJA CRAB GUY -more on him in a later post), how Daddy not telling and reinforcing his Little Girl’s Value has huge, detrimental, scarring, painful effects!
Hearing my Beautiful Princess Pumpkin so down on herself…Seeing her Self-Esteem and Self-Worth flaying…and no matter how much or how many times I tell her she’s Beautiful, Intelligent, Amazing and Wonderful she always, without fail responds, “You have to say that, you’re my Mom.” It’s disheartening. It’s frustrating. It makes me feel so worthless! My words have no power, no effect on her, nothing! Nada! I am wasting my saliva for Heaven’s Sake!
As much as I try and tell her, as much as I try to reinforce her value….all it takes is one word, one slightly misconstrued statement from her Dad…to make her feel like Nothing! Like she doesn’t fit it, she’s not good enough! She’s not thin enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not ANYTHING Enough!
Fathers…please, PLEASE realize the power, the influence you have in your Little Girls’ lives…
Use it for good, use it wisely…USE IT!!
Oh, and yes, “with great power comes great responsibility…”
I Love You Princess Pumpkin! You ARE Beautiful! You ARE an Amazingly Wonderful, Intelligent, Blessed Human Being that is Loved, Adored by not just us, but more important, by Our Father in Heaven. And no one, No One will ever Love you as He! Only He will NEVER let you down. Only He will Never disappoint you. Only He is Perfect and therefore His Love is Perfect! Remember He IS Love!
Your Horribly Imperfect Mommy…
When I found out that one of our Local Public Schools in York Region was allowing Prayer on Fridays for the Muslim Children, I was Livid!
Society keeps secularizing Christmas, Schools are taking God out of the Pledge of Allegiance, you don’t even HAVE TO say the Pledge of Allegiance! And so many more examples of NO PRAYER, No GOD, and yet here, in my own Back Yard a PUBLIC, SECULAR INSTITUTION was allowing and encouraging Prayer.
Though I understood the Why…I found it and still do find it Un-Just, yes, UNFAIR (I know, the World isn’t fair, but still)! Thus, I opposed it, adamantly.
Lo and Behold! I am not the only one!
There are so many “Christians” and “Christian Interpretations” of God and His Word that if someone (I don’t want to point any fingers here) were to come into my Childrens’ schools and start taking about the 144,000 that will be saved, or how the Rapture was not on May 21st but WILL BE on October 21st…and oh so many more examples.
Please do take the time and read this article…I for one am Supporting Ron Banerjee, of the Canadian Hindu Advocacy. Perhaps for my own Selfish Reasons too…but also because I CAN Truly Empathize…
How about You??
Here’s the Article to which I am referring from Sun TV by Tom Godfrey, released on Monday.
Another Article from City News.
Search and you’ll find many more…
What an amazing Summer Vacation I had!
Yes, I know that Summer is not yet over, but as corny as this may sound…
Literally and figuratively!
The weather today is gloomy and raining.
My heart is gloomy and due to the tears, raining as well.
My Beautiful Pu’Kin and Handsome Boys were with me for 5 weeks! Well, the youngest Angel Baby was for 5 weeks, my Middle Shorty was only here for 2 as he had Summer School to attend.
To quote him,
I may have failed English, but I excelled in Communication as I made many, many new Friends!
Needless to say, he is not very ashamed or disappointed as his grades. Such A Teen! Lord help Us!
You know, as empty as I feel, every so often, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of Hope!
You see, my Pumpkin Princess stated that she will be returning in January to study in the Great White North…
I want to believe that this is true, but in this case I will be very much as Santo Tomas…
Hasta no ver, no creer…
I know it’s not the best position to take, but I can’t afford, nor do I want another Heart Break .
Along with my Pu’Kin…my Angel Baby wants to come back as well.
In fact, he didnt’ want to LEAVE! And believe me…I did not want to let him go!
And yet I did…
Their Father is getting Married in November, and as I did not want my Children to not be there for My Wedding, I won’t deprive him of the same.
Now, I could have kept my Angel Baby here and sent him in November for the weekend…but here are my excuses…
Yes, Excuses, for I know that they are NOT reasons!
1. They have to size him.
2. They have to choose their suits or tuxedos still.
3. They have rehearsals to attend.
4. I want him to be with his Dad for the entire experience.
5. If he is to move back to be with me, then this is his “good-bye.”
6. My Pumpkin Princess will be coming out in January, they can come out together.
7. They will both be able to spend Christmas and New Year with their Dad and in the New Year be with me.
8. My Shorty may not be coming in January, as he has many reasons to stay, to be read as friends, girls, football…
And I could go on listing my Excuses…but there is just 1 reason and One Reason alone…
It is that simple.
I Am A Coward….
Well, I have had a few days, and the pain has dulled…I am also trying to accept that I may not have My Babies with me after all…
After that conversation with My Son…I have tried to be more cautious in my word choice. I can’t bear the thought of burdening him any further…
However, after learning of his Asthma attack yesterday, I did tell him that the High Level of Pollution does not help. Here, well, every time he’s out here, he does NOT get sick. No need for Inhalers or anything of that sort…I could not help myself and I told him so.
I told him that he would be better off here, especially Health Wise.
His response, “Well…at least I’ll be there in the Summer.”
WHAT HAPPENED?!?! Just the other day he said he was probably coming out here!
I know what happened. It always happens. What can I do? I can’t compete…
One day, one day they’ll see through it all…
I have lost hope, for now at least, that my Football Player will be coming out here as well. There is no longer ANY indication that he will be packing up and coming out.
And so, I go back to Square One…not the Mall…but the Bare, Desperate, Guilt-Infested Beginning…
There must be something in the Air or in the Water.
Something is Definitely going on…
I want to say that I am losing on all sides, but that wouldn’t be completely true…
I have lost the Hope of My Babies coming to be with me any time soon, But, I have gained insight into Individuals that I had Judged Pre-emptively.
Hypocritical, I know.
I do not want to be Judged, hence my Post “Only God Can Judge Me,” and I turn around and do precisely that. Well, I didn’t so much Judge as form an Opinion about People based on Limited Exposure and Circumstance.
Thankfully, I have been given the opportunity to interact with many different types of Individuals that have Opened my Eyes and shown me different Points of View, different Perspectives…and for that I am Extremely Grateful!
It IS true:
When one door closes, another opens.
Today I shared with one of my Favorite Bloggers, “Shoved to Them” aka the Mom, that I have not yet been able to find my niche…I told her how Blessed she was to have a Group of Friends with whom she could be herself. I have yet to find that. Every time I think I’m getting close, I don’t.
I will repeat to you that age-old adage:
It is better to be Hated for who you are, than to be Loved for who you are Not.
It is quite scary to be yourself. It is frightening to be so Bare and Vulnerable. To wear your heart on your sleeve, if you will.
But that is not the case! My Feelings, my Views, my Thoughts do not have to parallel anyone else’s in order for me to be accepted, in order for me to be Loved.
If that is the only reason that you are accepted, then are you really? Are you really and truly accepted? Or is it just the Mirroring, the regurgitating, the Ego-Stroking that is being accepted?
When someone Accepts you, Values you, Loves you…it is or should be all of you. Even dissenting views.
There is no greater Love, Friendship, Acceptance than one that Flourishes in Honesty. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of it.
That is how one Develops, Builds, and Grows. Through the Honest, Upfront words of those that care enough to be Candid with you.
It’s funny. My Beloved Husband and I were just talking about this the other night. I was sharing how throughout my History, those who started out as my Friends have not ended up as such. And those who started off on my “wrong” side, those that I was not too fond of…well, those are actually the ones with whom I have bonded and established Lasting and Meaningful Friendships.
He clarified it for me…
It’s because you get to see who they truly are. You saw them at their “worst” now all that’s left is discovering their Best!
He was much more eloquent of course, but I think you get the gist.
Wow…another Ramble Post…Why DO you keep coming back to read
Why Ever it is…Please Keep doing it
I was introduced to this “Law of Succinctness” or plainly put, “the simplest explanation is most likely the correct one” by an Individual whom I am developing a great respect for.
While this sounds great. And it can many times be applied, in the Area of Sciences, many Disciplines and Life in General…It’s not always precise.
Take us, Human Beings, as an example. To narrow this Extensive Being, let’s focus on our Gamut of Emotions.
Not only do we have an entire Spectrum of Feelings, but we are able to experience not just various Emotions but contradictory ones all at once! Try shaving that down with Occam’s Razor…
I can testify to that ability we have of experiencing Contradictory and Many Feelings all at once. Between you, me, and the Keyboard…sometimes I think I may have Issues
These past couple of days I have been hesitant to share this with you, for very interesting reasons.
If you look at my previous posts, you will see that on the same day I posted “Are You Smarter than this 11-Year Old” and “Por Fin! They hit the Nail on the Head.” I have been wanting to write a couple of other things, but I stopped myself because I wanted you to read these two posts. I really wanted you to read, think about, and possibly share this with others. In fact, on “Por Fin! They hit the Nail on the Head“ I blatantly asked that you comment on the video. I felt, no, I feel quite strong about these two posts, and did not want to take away from them.
I am Angry. I am Excited. I am Hopeful. I am Torn, Tormented, Tortured. I am Resentful. I am Nervous. I am Anxious. I am Proud. I am Deeply Touched. I am Flattered. I feel Validated, Justified and Accomplished…and Oh So Much More…
Allow me to continue with my Hope of my Children coming to Live with Us. My Youngest, Handsome Boy has been sharing with me that he is considering moving up here. He tells me he’s 90% convinced and sure he will. Then…on Monday night, he shares with me the most Dreaded, Nauseating, Angering, Frustrating, Painful news any Parent could hear…
“Mommy, if I move out there will it cause Problems?”
My heart wrenches. It literally feels as if someone has grabbed it with both hands and is squeezing the life, the blood out of it as they twist it and dig their fingers into it…My stomach feels as if at the same time that these hands tore at my heart, a fist came right at it. It forces me to double over and grab at my chest to ensure that there is no puncture or rupture through which my heart is being torn from me…
This is all I can bear at the moment…I’ll get back to you…
How Blessed am I?
Yesterday, an AMAZING group of People took time out of their Busy Days and Lives and Wished me Well
Thank You ALL!!
Especially a Great Big Huge Thanks and I Love You Guys for that group that even endured being Shoved Into the Closet to Surprise me!!
As devastating as it is to not have My Beloved Babies with me…Things are beginning to take a Tremendous turn for the Better! And that is Precisely what scares me!!!
You know when things start going well…too well? You know that little tinge of Massive Fear because you just know that it can’t last forever and that something will just go wrong?
It may seem that I am being a Pessimist, but trust me, it’s not even that!
My fear resides in getting too confident, too Joyous, too Certain that My Beloved Babies are going to come and Stay with Me!!
Perhaps…No, I KNOW that even making that statement is WAY too much!
They haven’t said they are…
They, in reality, haven’t shown any tangible signs…
I have a feeling…
Things are just so much better with my Pumpkin! She’s more open, accepting, forgiving, LOVING!!!!! I keep feeling that perhaps she sees that I am not all that Bad! That I am not the Evil Monster that our Situation has made me out to be…That perhaps I am just a Stinkin’ Sinful Fallen Creature that has made some of the STUPIDEST Mistakes a person can make, but that NEVER, EVER were they Ill-Intentioned, NEVER, EVER meant to hurt any of them, anyone really, but ESPECIALLY THEM!!
Perhaps She is opening her Heart and being Merciful in Spirit and trying to see things from where I stand and she is willing to Forgive my Selfishness and Stupidity and see that I Truly Love Them and Want Nothing More than to have Them HERE With Me!!
Perhaps she is wanting to give me that Opportunity? All of them are!
I want them to WANT to be here…I know that they do…I know that they are in a Most Unfair situation…
I have tried my Damnedest never to put them in an even worst one where they were made to choose. I would just give in. I would not fight. I would simply back down. I just never wanted them to be put in a position where they would be caught in the middle or be made to choose. Thus, I tried Never to show Hurt, Pain, or overzealous desire…
I realize that I should have been more honest with them. Let them see the hurt and pain that it caused me to lose them. Perhaps even let them see the effects that words and situations have had on me, on US, on our Relationship…
But my Intentions and Desires were those of Protecting them! I wanted Divorce to not be such a Horrible thing.
But it had the Best of Intentions…I know…the road to Hell is paved with good intentions…
Is it me, or is it really warm in here????
But I have REALLY Digressed…I know I am Very Blessed…
I am Ecstatic that I will, God-Willing, soon have My Babies here…
Keep us in your prayers, please!
Thank you all, always, for everything!
LOVE YOU ALL!
Your Sister in Christ,
From The Pews
You can visualize it. It’s a done deal. Dude, you can even TASTE IT!
Well, tonight I was going to share with you about the Saint of the Day, St. Marguerite Bourgeoys.
I do not want to do her injustice, thus, I will just share with you that Canada owes MUCH to her. More specifically French-Speaking Canada. She started a School for Children of both European and Native American backgrounds and eventually established a school for Native Girls in Ville-Marie, present day Montreal.
She was a Saint who knew what she wanted to be.
A Cloistered Nun.
She knew it. She applied to the Carmelites and Poor Clares and…Nothing.
God had other plans…she was to become an Educator!
In Spanish we have a saying, “Uno pone, Dios dispone, y llega el Diablo y TODO lo DES-compone.” Meaning, that we make our plans. We Pose them. God Disposes those plans. He puts them in their proper order or place. And then the Devil comes and Ruins or Breaks EVERYTHING!
Fitting for tonight, I think
Anyway…Before I began my post tonight, I realized I had not checked on any of the comments in a long, long time. So, I did.
There were a few Comments posted by an Anonymous Individual. Wonderful, Insightful, quite Helpful comments! Funny, too!
I was especially taken with this Excerpt this Individual shared:
An excerpt from “The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said,
“Speak to us of Children”.
And he said:
Your children are not your children,
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but are not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and
He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
So he loves also the bow that is stable.
Kahlil Gibran’s book, published in 1923 is especially relevant and helpful for these times and is a wonderful gift for yourself or a loved one.
Beautiful, isn’t it? I made a note to myself to share it in the future with those of you that may not have seen it. Note, I said in the future. Well, it was not to be my will.
But before I continue with this strand, allow me to share something else that is “Coincidental” about this Anonymous Commentator. ;) Anonymous, in another comment recommends 2 books to yours truly, The 7 Love Agreements by Douglas Weiss, PhD. and Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom : Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing by Christiane Northrup, M.D.
Well…I was away for about 2 months, as I’m sure you may have noticed. Well, I hope that you would have noticed, since I wasn’t writing ANYTHING :? Point being, that I was not at my Parish for Christmas or the Christmas Season. My Husband was.
One day, he calls me and tells me that our Wonderful and Amazing Pastoral Assistant told him that there was a Gift for us under the tree!?! My Husband further tells me that this gift is from Anonymous.
At that point in time I thought it peculiar and yet very Sweet. Especially when he tells me what the Gift is…some Turtles, the Pecan kind, YUM and two books.
He tells me that they are Marriage Help Books. At that point I realized how Extremely thoughtful the gift was! And I figured that the Person or Persons didn’t want to make it too obvious that they knew about our Marriage Troubles and possibly embarrass us, which by the way, would not happen! We have problems! We share it with those who care to read about them or read about how we are trying to work at our Marriage so that others can Hopefully Benefit from our Failings. Learn from our mistakes and take advantage and make use of the Resources that have helped us, RETROUVAILLE! He then mentions the titles of the books. They sound interesting. He tells me that the one about women is really thick.
At this point I am going over in my head who the Anonymous gift-giver could be. I think of the Wonderful couples we know, and decide that it really couldn’t be them because they know that we know that they know, you know? So it just didn’t make sense. Then I think it could possibly be our Debonaire Pastoral Assistant. Or possibly our Beautiful, Patient, Kind and Extremely Helpful Secretary, Mary. I tell my Husband that it was quite possibly one of the two, but that we wouldn’t know for sure. That whoever Anonymous is or are, that we are very Blessed to have such Caring people in our lives.
You’d think that was the end, right? I did too. Until tonight.
As I am reading the comments I see the titles of the books in a comment! In a comment from….TA TA TA TAN…I do hope you can hear that little tune in your heads ;) From no other than, yup, ANONYMOUS!
So, Thank You, Anonymous. We are Truly, Truly Grateful for your Gift, your Time and your Caring. We are very Blessed. Thank you.
Here is the other coincidence having to do with Anonymous. I shared the Excerpt with you. As I stated, I was going to share it in the future. Right? Right.
After reading and responding to Anonymous, I check my emails real quick and I see that I have received one from El Padre Roman titled, “Los Hijos. Gibran Khalil.”
The name looks familiar to me, therefore I come back here and sure enough, Anonymous’ excerpt is from Khalil!
I laugh because at that point I know that tonight, not some time in the future, is when I am to share this with you.
Please, obtain this book! El Profeta. In English, The Prophet. It is said to be his Masterpiece. And from what I have read, it truly is Inspired. He has chapters on Love, Marriage, Giving, Joy and Sorrow, Freedom, Reason and Passion, Beauty, Religion, Death and so many more.
Thank you again Anonymous…
Gracias, Padre Roman…
Gracias, Khalil Gibran…
Se dice que en cierta ocasión, una mujer que llevaba un niño en sus brazos, le dijo:
“Maestro, háblanos de los hijos” y él respondió:
“Sus hijos no son sus hijos.
Son los hijos y las hijas de los anhelos
que la vida tiene de si misma.
Pueden darles su amor,
mas no sus pensamientos.
Pues ellos tienen sus propios pensamientos.
Pueden albergar sus cuerpos,
mas no sus almas.
Porque sus almas moran en la casa del mañana,
que ni aun en sueños les será dado visitar.
Pueden esforzarse por ser como ellos,
mas no intenten hacerlos como ustedes.
Porque la vida no marcha hacia atrás,
ni se detiene en el ayer.
Ustedes son el arco por medio del cual sus hijos son disparados como flechas vivas.
El arquero ve el blanco sobre el camino del infinito,
y las dobla con toda su fuerza
a fin de que sus flechas vayan veloces y lejos.
Que el hecho de estar en manos del arquero
sea para su dicha, por que así como
Él ama la flecha que dispara,
ama también el arco que permanece firme.
Por eso ustedes tuvieron la oportunidad de vivir su vida
y la libertad de amar y hacer su vida.
Dejen que sus hijos vuelen solos del nido cuando llegue la hora
y no les reclamen para que vuelan.
Ellos los querrán por siempre
Y tendrán también su nido,
del cual algún día, ellos solos quedarán,
pero fue su nido y su vida,
Ámenlos con libertad
no apaguen el fuego de su hogar,
vivan y dejen vivir.
Así ellos siempre los querrán.
Gibran Khalil Gibran’s work has been translated to more than 20 languages…
Let us enjoy and rejoice in the treasure our Lord gives us…
What a week! Emotional Rollercoaster. New Endeavor’s. Still Unemployed. All while trying to be a Wife. A Mother. Not doing so well at the Daughter part. Nor the Sister Part. This is not to say that I am doing great at the other two roles either. But at least I am giving those a bit more attention. Oh, and I forgot Housekeeper too. Really bad at that one! I have two little Monsters that ensure my failure at keeping an organized, clean environment.
And speaking of Little Monsters. I want to share with you all an email that el Padre Roman sent me. It may be a tad harsh, but quite Real…
It is titled, “Despierta” Awaken or probably more in keeping with the content, WAKE UP!
This can be called, Cowardly Parent Complex.
What seems to be happening is that we are confusing or misunderstanding what love is and we are dedicating ourselves to making our children happy, to satisfying their capriciousness, to resolve their lives, and we don’t think to prepare them for a Difficult Life.
This way, our children will Never learn to earn a living and be self-sufficient.
This is called making them Dependent and Useless.
Each day, Sons and Daughters, allege that they are unable to help out with Chores and Domestic Duties arguing that their sole responsibility is their Studies, all else is the Parents’ responsibility.
That is called a Dependent Ingrate, a Freeloader.
In Sacrifice of a Misunderstood Happiness, we try and fill them with Material Things. They are bought the Best Clothes, or the Most Expensive Shoes. They attend the Best Private Schools. They are provided with money for Going Out, Money for their Expenses, if possible a New Car, and other “Financial Commitments” that they make, though the don’t Make the Money and what’s worse, they Believe it is Your Obligation as a Parent.
You sacrifice by all means possible so that your Children can have the Best and they are Never Satisfied.
What you do receive from them are Demands and Selfishness.
We have given them so much, that they feel the Deserve Everything, they have a Great sense of Entitlement.
We have given them so much attention that they feel they are the Center of the Universe. Laden with Selfishness, they feel that the world should revolve around them, and that the only thing of Value, Importance and Fundamental, is Them.
We do not make them aware or take heed of their role as Responsible Individuals.
If I, as a Parent, live up to my Obligation of Providing for them, their personal needs, their Health, Schooling…
They are to live up to their Obligations which are to do well in School and help out in the Home.
What is happening with these Newer Generations?
If we look back to our youth, be that a long time ago or not that long ago, things were quite different.
We did not have a Cell Phone…and Nothing Happened.
We did not have a Laptop or maybe even a Desk Top…and we managed.
We were satisfied and maybe even Grateful with the clothes that we were bought and we did not feel different or rejected because we did not use or have Brand Names.
If you were Chastised, you were denied permission to go somewhere or do something, or even “Smacked upside your head,” you did NOT disrespect your Parents, much Less Threaten them.
If you went to a Party or a Get Together, you committed to being home at a certain hour and you respected it, whether you liked it or not, otherwise, you wouldn’t get Permission to go out the next time you asked.
And that was not a reason to Scream, Yell, Slam Doors, Blackmail, Pout, or for weeks go around the house with fake smiles or moping.
Then, there existed a very important Value that we were taught from Early Childhood, it was called: Respect.
It is now unknown, it does not exist, we know not where it is, or where it hid so that our Children cannot find it, much less Practice it.
There were Preponderant Values: One was Order, another Discipline, and the other, Obedience.
Nowadays, some parents don’t help with the Homework, they Do the Homework. Even with so many resources available, which they will also find for them, the only thing they have left to do is take the Exams for them.
And this entire Circus so that the child won’t have a Tantrum, won’t suffer from dehydration from so many tears shed, and the saddest reason…to “maintain Peace in the Home,” where the Creditworthiness and Authority of the Parents many times does not Exist.
What can we say about the Home, where to avoid discussions and conflict - since the refrain of: “Johnny I am counting to 3. One. Two. Two and a Quarter. Two and a Half.” As if we were teaching Fractions. Or the other Classic: “I am counting to 10. One. Two…” - we have become our Childrens’ Accomplices.
We must, of course, keep our mouths shut so that we don’t drag them down with our constant nagging. And on top of that, we don’t allow them to become “exhausted,” even picking up their Own things.
What ever for? We tell ourselves, that they have no fault in any of our “issues.” They did not ask to be born.
How Mistaken we are…
Then we were not Overprotected, nor were our Problems solved for us, we were Free even to Make Mistakes, which led us to develop a sense of Responsibility and Identity.
That is called Growing Up.
During this Growing-Up Process, a few “Smacks Upside the Head” were not exempt, nor was a Good Spanking - which never Traumatized anybody – to make you Obey.
Then, your Father’s Voice was listened to with Respect, your Mother’s orders were followed without protest, and their advice was not seen as idle chatter, empty words, preachiness, or nagging.
You Never said to your Parents, “Shut Up!” or “Yeah, Whatever.”
Then, the Parents set the limits, made the rules, and created the conditions. They were not afraid that their Sons or Daughters would say, “You don’t understand me,” “It’s none of your Business,” “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” “You’re Worse,” or the typical, “I am Leaving or Running Away.”
They knew, where were you going to go that you would be treated better or have it better than at home?
You basically had two tasks, getting angry and turning right around and being happy again.
Then, if you didn’t want to eat what was made, you stayed hungry. You were not given money to order something else or go out and get something.
Then, Parents did not Justify Bad Grades, Bad Behaviour is School, or your Disrespecting a Teacher, or your Lack of Helping Out around the House.
Then, your Parents said no. And No meant NO.
Then, the Paternal Figure was quite different from how it is seen now. Then, Love, Respect and Consideration did not give way to: ”My Dad’s Crazy,” “He’s Old, or Old-Fashioned,” “He’s Selfish,” “He’s Neurotic,” “He has Issues,” “He’s totally Clueless,” and so many more.
They cause me Great Pain, and I am unsure if it is due to who emits them or who receives them.
What are we going to do with the Youth, the Children of Today?
Selfish, Freeloaders, Dependent, Irresponsible, Disrespectful, Rude, Foul-mouthed, Swindlers both Financially and Emotionally.
If you do not give them money, they will lie to get it, or they’ll steal it from you, or they’ll just get plain Angry. If you do not give them permission to go out, they get angry and sneak out anyway. If you chastise them, they talk back and don’t listen. If you try and find them, they turn off their cell phones. If they get bad grades, who cares, you’re the one “Buying” anyway.
Teach them to earn their own money Honestly so that they can learn the value of it, manage it and enjoy it.
Teach them to value to opportunity to obtain an education, not everyone has the privilege of earning a degree, having a profession and plan for a steady and stable life.
Teach them to Respect others so that when they have their Husband or Wife, they will know how to cultivate and maintain a good Marriage. Equality between men and women is not to disrespect one another, nor is it to have control or power over the other.
Teach them to create a Scale of Values which will make them Decent, Respectable Human Beings, useful to their families and to society.
Make them aware that Values are not outdated, old-fashioned, out-of-style, or museum relics.
Teach them to Love Themselves, to have Self-Confidence, so that when they have their own children, they will Love Them and Educate Them. So that they will have Credibility in their Relationships.
WAKE UP PARENTS!
Let’s get on the ball, let’s make our Value Scale Standard, so that our Children can learn what Respect, Commitment, Honesty, Humility, Courtesy, Prudence, Generosity, Gratitude, and a Noble Heart are.
We Must offer them this Lesson that will make of them Beings of Excellence.
Although in our Present time it is not easy and it will be difficult, practically impossible to practice, attempt it a Thousand times, Ask God for Wisdom. He will help you Accomplish it.
Try it and See…
Alright, so there has to be something going on…perhaps Procrastination? Maybe yesterday, but not today. My Final Rant will have to be moved, yet again. Due to a Crisis.
My Beautiful Pumpkin’s Heart has been broken by the NOW-Jerk Ex-Boyfriend. Not only did he break up with her for no apparent reason, but he did it via TEXT!!
It is quite evident that he did NOT read my post “Geoffrey’s Tech-etiquette for All!” Number 10 is quite CLEAR!
10. Don’t email/text/DM what should be spoken in person. Anyone who electronically transmits what should be spoken face to face (i.e. firing an employee, dumping a boyfriend/girlfriend, critiquing performance, etc.) is a coward.
Or a Punk, a Jerk, a – you must realize, this is my Baby Girl we are talking about, there aren’t enough “nice” Words to verbalize my anger towards this “Coward!” – good for nothin’…yeah, THAT!
And at the same time, I am Glad that it’s over. She’s only 17. She has no need to be in a “serious” relationship. She’s starting her 1st Quarter at CSUSB this Fall. And like I told her, her University Life will change her completely. It’s going to be a True Journey to discover who she is, what she believes and show her what she’s capable of. She doesn’t need the “burden” of the Boyfriend being at another school. In other words, she does not need an LDR, Long Distance Relationship, not while she’s trying to get College Life down. She’s going to have ENOUGH to worry about. Besides, she’s going to be meeting all different kinds of People. She doesn’t want to have to turn down an opportunity to grab a bite to eat with a guy, just because he’s a guy, because her BF will get upset. This “guy” may have the makings of a Great Friend, a Tutor, a Mentor, etc. And to not have the Liberty to associate with him because of her BF, is not something that I want her to have to go through. Does that make sense?
My Poor Pumpkin, she has been on this Emotional Roller Coaster for a few days now. For a couple of days, she was claiming that she was fine, that it was “all good.” And today, my Baby Girl Broke down. :cry: She needed me. She needed a shoulder to cry on, but more so she needed her Mommy to hold her and coddle her for a bit. I don’t know if anyone can even BEGIN to imagine my Impotence! My Frustration! My Anger! My Hurt…My Poor Baby Girl…
I told her that it was a good thing that she cry. That she needed to let it out. I told her that the Hurt wouldn’t go away overnight. That the time that it’s going to take to get over it can even be twice as long as the relationship lasted. That she Had to hurt, that’s how she knows she cared. I told her that she had to cry, scream, write and burn what she wrote, that she had to let the emotions drain from her. But more important, that she could not keep Talking or Texting this Boy. Because it would make the Injury Raw all over again. I told her so many things…But what she needed, what I wanted to give her I couldn’t…Dear Lord, How it Hurt! I told her to call her Nina, that she would be more than happy to be there for her in the way that I couldn’t.
I try to tell myself that I’m doing the best I can. I try to keep busy, call them every day, find out what’s going on, be there in the best way that I possibly can…but the Bottom Line is I’m NOT! And it KILLS ME! They don’t know it. They may never realize it. But it does. Every day it does. More so when things like this happen. I feel, I am such a Failure. I have failed them. I continue to Fail them Each and Every Single Day. God Forgive Me.
My Beautiful Pumpkin…
My Baby Girl…
As I read a Blog Post from Word On Fire, I shuddered.
The Title, “To Put Aside Childish Things.”
All I could think was, I don’t want to be the type of parent whose kids, whose “Children,” need the results of the studies and/or assistance of the MacArthur Foundation Research Network on Transitions to Adulthood.
I mean really? If you’re 34 or the person you are interested in is 34 and still living at home with no independence in sight, there is something really wrong.
I understand that many times, for cultural and economic reasons, one stays at home longer than the traditional 18 yrs. of age. Or maybe reasonable 25-27 (To finish Grad School). But, to initiate “an entity which views ‘the early years of adulthood, roughly age 18 to 34, as a neglected part of the life span that deserves close study’” (Word on Fire). Is that not going a bit too far?
It reminds me of the movie “Failure to Launch.” If you haven’t seen it, it is basically a film about a thirty-five year old male named Tripp (played by Matthew McConaughey). He is attractive, drives a great car, sails, he’s witty, active, a great catch. But, there is a catch, Tripp still lives with his parents. And it is just too convenient for him on too many levels.
Now, his parents no longer want him at home (Mom and Dad played by Kathy Bates and Terry Bradshaw, respectively. BTW, Great scene of Bradshaw’s Behind ;)). To help their son leave, they hire Paula (played by Sarah Jessica Parker), who is a Professional Motivator. She assists parents in getting their sons to leave home. She gets the men to Fall for her, and motivates them to move out.
Not the best movie ever, but funny. And in this context, Sad and Scary.
Once you have read the Article “To Put Aside Childish Things.” You will see that as Parents, that by being Wimps or as Fr. Mario calls us “Wimpified Parents”, we are not only hindering our Children’s Independence, but their Spiritual Growth as well.
In the word Independence, there is so much implied. By being overbearing, overinvolved, coddling, or simply frightened Parents, we really harm our kids. How are they going to learn responsibility? How are they going to learn to fend for themselves? How are they going to develop that instinct that warns us and guides us in regards to who is trustworthy. How are they going to think for themselves? How will they ever make decisions for themselves? How will they grow in their Faith if it is fed and imposed on them?
As horrible and frightening as it is for us as Parents to see our Children suffer, no matter what the age, Suffering creates Character. Suffering will only make them Stronger. I realize it’s cliché. But there is so much truth to these sayings.
It is through suffering that we find not just who our true friends are, but we also find out that Family really and truly is there. Or at worst And at BEST, we find God. We discover that we truly never are alone and that He is always there to comfort, console and protect us. IF we let Him.
Let us not Cripple our Children. We may think that we are protecting them, but in reality we are causing them so much harm. The reality is that we will not always be there…and then what? What will they do? Do you really want to do that to them? Do you want them to suffer needlessly and alone because you never gave them the tools…you never TRUSTED them enough to do it on their own?
I have seen firsthand what this does to a Person.
There is nothing more painful than to see a man unable to “man-up” because he doesn’t know how.
There is nothing worse for an individual than to think that they have a Partner, only to realize that in reality, they are just another “Kid” that you have to take care of and help to “grow up.”
There is nothing more frustrating and angering than to see an “Adult” not take responsibility for their actions because they do not know how. They never have before and have no idea how to start.
There is nothing more humiliating for a Mother and Father than to see their Son not know how to be a “Real Man” for his family because you coddled him to such a degree that he doesn’t know how to Protect, Respect, Value or Appreciate. He only knows Entitlement, Selfishness, and Lack of Responsibility. The same goes for a Daughter who was so coddled that she knows nothing about Loving, Caring, or Self-Sacrifice. **Let me add here that I am in no way trying to be SEXIST! All of these Flaws and Qualities apply to BOTH Men and Women. I just didn’t want it to seem that I was coming down Hard on the Male Counterparts**
There are too many people like this already. And yes, they do range in ages and yes, mostly in the 18-34 yr. category.
Let’s work on what we as Parents Strive for:
- Giving Our Children Everything we didn’t Have.
- Making Everything Better for Them.
- Making Life as Wonderful, Beautiful and Enjoyable as it Can Be.
But let’s do it in a way that won’t Harm them, Cripple them, or make them useless Human Beings.
Let’s do it the Best Way Possible. Providing them with all the Tools that they will need to Deal with the Real World. Providing them with the Knowledge, Courage and Strength to Confront and Deal with Real Issues, Heartaches and Suffering.
And if you Give them the Gift of Faith, Teach them about the Love of God, Teach them that Suffering isn’t useless, or Unnecessary, Explain to them about Purification through Suffering, Growth through Suffering, then they will know that all is not in vain.
Remember anything worthwhile is worth Working for, Fighting for, Suffering for.
At times it can be the most rewarding Job ever created. When your Baby looks up at you with so much Trust, so much Love and Smiles. Nothing in this entire World can Weaken your Heart, Bring you to your Knees, all while Making you So Proud and Filling you with so much Fear all at once! There is nothing, not a thing you wouldn’t do for that Child.
And then there’s those other times. Those times when the Baby just won’t stop crying. You changed the Diaper, tried feeding, rocking, singing, undressing the Baby to make sure there was nothing pinching, squeezing, or hurting the Baby. You’ve tried it ALL and the Baby Just Won’t STOP! You just want to run. Scream. Cry along side that Child. You feel so Helpless, so Useless, so Frustrated. You just want the Baby to stop.
It’s funny how in a Blink of an eye one can go from one emotion to the next.
But it doesn’t end there. Oh, no. Your Baby starts growing into a Toddler. The Terrible 2′s. Then into a Pre-K. Then a real Kid. Then a Tween. A Teen. A Young Lady/Man. An Adult. No matter what the phase, the age, the ability to go from One extreme on the Emotional Bar to the Other is always there.
The worst thing for me. The worst thing about Being a Parent is Failing. It is Knowing that you have failed and there is nothing you can do to fix where you messed up.
Sure you always hear that “It’s Never Too Late.” It may not be too late to Start a Different Relationship with your Child. But when you have Failed them. When you have Ruined their Childhood. You can’t get that Back!
You can try picking up at the New Phase and Trying to Build and Create…But that which you Missed out on, that which you ruined…Gone.
I Pray that My Children can Forgive Me One Day.
I Hope that they can Forgive my Selfishness. My Lack of Sacrifice. My Lack of Being a True Parent. Of Putting them Before my Selfishness.
Over the years, I and others, have tried to help me “Justify” my decisions. My Mistakes. If you look hard enough…No…That’s the thing, you don’t even have to look. Justifying Wrong is EASY. Society helps us with that in a Heartbeat. Situational Ethics, anyone?
The World will always tell us that it’s okay for us to put “#1″ First. You have to take care of yourself before you take care of others.
That’s not what Jesus did. That’s not what we are called to do.
He Served. We are Called to Serve.
He Sacrificed. We are Called to Sacrifice.
He Died for Us. He Gave All for Us. For our Shortcomings, for our Selfishness, for our Depravity, for our Apathy, for our Greed, for our Irresponsibility. He Died for Us. He Died for YOU and for ME.
And I couldn’t give just a little. I couldn’t Sacrifice just a Little. I couldn’t put Them before Myself.
I am So Sorry, Pumpkin. I am So Terribly Sorry, Papa Bear. I am SO, SO Sorry My Little Angel, My Handsome Baby Boy.
I Failed You. I can’t Fix It. I don’t know how.
But DO KNOW that I Love You. You may not believe it. You may not know it. But I DO! As Hollow as it sounds, as Empty and Pathetic as it sounds, I Love You. I Always Have. I Always Will.
If you give me an Opportunity, which I don’t deserve, I will try. Just be Patient with a Flawed, Sinful, Fallen Creature that I Trying to be Better.
You May have to TELL ME what you Need. Point Blank. Tell Me. If you don’t ask, I may think I’m giving you what you want, but I may not be giving you what you Need. Please Tell Me What you NEED.
I know that First and Foremost it’s ME. And I’m Here.
As a Parent, If you ask yourself what’s worse than Family Guy, Jerry Springer and other similar trash on TV ? You might say Nothing is Worse. After All, that’s as Bad as Television can get.
You might want to think the question again though. Family Guy and Jerry Springer have become far too obvious for Satan to use as a means of polluting our Families and Children. Instead, he’s now using a tactic that the Ancient Greeks used to siege the City of Troy:
The Trojan Horse.
While Historians and Scholars debate the historical facts about the Trojan Horse, the Concept is still the same today.
By destiny compell’d, and in despair,
The Greeks grew weary of the tedious war,
And by Minerva’s aid a fabric rear’d,
Which like a steed of monstrous height appear’d:
The sides were plank’d with pine; they feign’d it made
For their return, and this the vow they paid.
Thus they pretend, but in the hollow side
Selected numbers of their soldiers hide:
With inward arms the dire machine they load
And iron bowels stuff the dark abode.
-Virgils Aenid, Book 2.
ICarly was the Number One Kids show as rated by Nielsen Media Research (NMR) in 2009.
The show is centered around a teenaged girl named Carly Shay who lives with her 28 year old brother Spencer, in a Seattle Loft Apartment. Together with her Two best friends they produce a Webcast (TV Broadcast on the World Wide Web) eponymously known as “ICarly”.
It seems innocent enough right ?
Let’s look at this “Trojan Horse” detail:
- The only Parental Figure, Spencer, is depicted as an Immature, Bumbling Idiot. The Origin’s of Carly’s Mother are never mentioned and her Father, while mentioned on many occasions never makes an appearance. Already we see the lack of any parental guidance and a total breakdown of the Traditional Family. The Lack of any Parental Supervision is quite normal. The only Parent is an Imbecile. The message that gets across is “ Parents are Idiots, We don’t Need Them”.
- Episodes often contain the same recurring themes. Carly’s friend Sam is proud of her ability to Lie. Carly always has a Crush on some boy (usually “Bad” boys). Sam is mean, aggressive and always ready to start a fight. Sam is always mean to their friend Freddy, the last character in the Triumvirate. The message here is “There are no consequences to our actions” and “Being Bad is Cool”.
- The Teenagers are often depicted without having any boundaries. They do as they please. After all, Spencer is a Moron. There is no responsibility for their actions. The message to Children is clear “Parents Get in the Way of What we Want”.
- Freddy is constantly emasculated by Sam. The message is “It’s Ok to disrespect others”.
- In Many episodes, the Lead Characters lack any Empathy towards their fellow human beings. All that matters is themselves.
- The Show depicts many over the top and unrealistic events.
The Negative Behaviours far outweigh anything that could even be considered positive about the series.
If you search the Web, you’ll find numerous resources so that you can do your own research and make an informed decision. You don’t have to watch many episodes either to see for yourself. I wouldn’t recommend the latter as it can be an unpleasant and insulting experience.
If you have Children you’ve probably already heard of, or seen an episode or two. The show is aimed at “Tweens” or ages 9-12 old. Nickelodeon (YTV in Canada) have marketed this as a Kids Comedy. Since the show is Aired on Channels for Kids, as Parents we are less likely to pay any attention to the show’s Content. You might even allow the show into your homes on a Regular Basis.
Companies like Nickelodeon and Disney have been competing for Ratings. While they MAY at one time have been interested in bringing quality programming into Family’s Homes, It’s all come down to Ratings and the Almighty Dollar. It’s not the Obvious Filth on TV we have to watch out for anymore.
We have to be diligent in Preventing Satan from using Trojan Horse Tactics to Infiltrate and Poison our Lives.
In the struggle between the stone and the water, in time, the water wins.
This is so simple. So true. And yet, how much time and patience are involved!
Do you ever feel it’s wearing thin?
I’m trying to let it thicken…
I need a MOUNTAIN OF IT!!
Time won’t give me Time…
Remember that one?
I don’t recall where I read this stat, but it stated that most people, including yours truly, would trade money for time. We Never have enough it. There could be 28 hrs. in a day and still I am quite certain that we wouldn’t put those additional hours towards what matters, what truly matters.
Yet, once again, the Little Ones have it right!
It is quite humbling when my Children, especially my 13 yr. old (a couple of weeks away from being 14, and soon-to-behave like a REAL Teenager), my Baby and Toddler teach me, time and again, how I am to live life. In different ways, but, they do.
My 13 yr. old is what many call an “Old Soul.” He is wise beyond his years. Always has been. I recall when he was in Kindergarten. They were talking about Harriet Tubman. They were not really going into all the Wretched details of Slavery, they just wanted to teach the kids who she was. My, then 5 yr old, not only uses the Word Slavery, but goes into the details of it. He began explaining to his little classmates how the Slaves were brought over from Africa. How they were treated worse than animals. That they were not treated like humans. The part of his Explanation, however, that touched the Teacher and myself, was when he said that we had not learned our Lesson from our Mistakes. We don’t treat everybody equally. It is our responsibility to teach others that Papa Dios made us all the same.
Even at his age now, officially a Teen and yet still not under the duress of being one, he tells me:
~Mommy, You’re too hard on yourself. We all know how much you have sacrificed and what you have gone through, even [my Sister]. She may not tell you, but, trust me Mom, she knows. You do the best that you can. Besides, all that really matters is that you Love us and you’re there for us in any way that you can.
Whenever he speaks to me like this, I can’t help but bawl. It is Painful for me. I have asked him a couple of times to forgive me my mistakes and my Very, Very Many Shortcomings. His response is that he has nothing to forgive because I am his Mommy and he Loves me.
He continually surprises me with how kind, gentle and forgiving he is. Not to mention Extremely Intelligent! He was 3 yrs old when he told Jennifer, a University Student at UCSD, that he wanted to be a Paleontologist. She laughed, looked at me and she said, “I go to UCSD, and have no idea what a Paleo…whatever is!”
He has the Gift of Loving Books, always has, still does, that is what explains his knowledge of Dinosaurs and Slavery, among other things. As with any Healthy Teen, however, Video Games do take the Front Seat to many things now. ;)
I know, I went off on a tangent about my son, I just Miss Him…I Miss them All…Whether they believe it or not, I Truly and Painfully Do…Take a Deep Breath and…
Yes, the Little Ones DO Teach Me, Thank God they do!
My Toddler and Baby don’t worry about financial situations. They don’t worry about work. They don’t worry about what to make for Dinner. Much less if the House is Clean.
When Mommy and Daddy are around, they know what matters. That we all be together, spend time together, whether it be playing or reading to them. Enjoying one another as a Family should.
The Baby is now walking. She will walk very proudly towards her Dad, squeal, then turn right back to me. She engages both of us. She shares her triumphs with us.
My Toddler will see that I am Pre-occupied and not really paying attention to her. Well, she’ll start calling me and won’t stop until I Stop:
~Mom. Mom. Mommy. Mommy. Mom. Mommy.
~Yeeeeeeeees (But not looking at her).
~Mom. Mom. Mooooooooooooom. Mooooooooom.
~Que quieres, what do you want (Still not looking).
At this point, she’ll drag a chair so that she can reach me, grab my head, turn me to face her and will say again:
Now, if my Dialogue does not really deliver the “Impact” of the Mom, Mommy…
After all of this, and Trying my best not laugh, I will look right at her and simply say, “Yes, Mija.” Then she will tell me the all-important story that needed my full attention. To be fair, all of her stories and accounts should get my full attention, but, they don’t. I get caught up in other things, that in all reality, and we’re honest with ourselves, can wait. Oh, for the record, my 15 Month Old, grabs my face now so that I will look at her when she speaks too. :S How sad is that?!?! HILARIOUS!! But sad that she has to go to those lengths at her tender age as well.
But This…this is the Lesson that won’t stick. This is the Lesson that I receive Daily and yet, forget:
First thing in the Morning and right before bed, my Kids will turn and say Hi to Papa Dios, La Virgencita, Their Angelito de la Guarda and El Niñito Dios.
Mind you, they do have to be reminded of their Prayers in the Morning, not at night (they take up as much time as they possibly can to not go to bed as with many kids), they say them all by themselves, that’s not a problem, just in the morning.
What I find truly moving, what hits home every day, is that all by themselves, every morning, as I said, they do say Hi. They Acknowledge Who is First. Who Comes First. And at Night, I guess by saying their Prayers, they are giving Thanks for another day.
I will be the first to say that I am probably not getting my point across very well with my Post today. I acknowledge it. So I will simply state what the point is and save you the agony of reading more Home Stories ;)
My Kids Choose the Better Part, and will not let it be taken away from them (Luke 10:38-42).
They are trying to teach me to do the same…
I found the following Information on the Public Health Agency of Canada regarding the Vaccines used and required in Canada.
The ones that I have posted here are the Vaccines that are currently approved for use in Canada (as of May 2006) and that are developed utilizing “human cell lines from ABORTED foetuses, WI-38 and MRC-5″ (Vatican Study, word Aborted capitalized and boldface by From The Pews).
I could not C&P all the information because it’s a bit much, but here is the information that as a Canadian Parent you may want to know about:
|M-M-R® II||MF||SC||Live||M, M, R||Live virus||Gelatine Neomycin Residual components of chick embryo cell cultures||Bovine Serum Glutamate Human albumin Residual protein from cell culture Sorbitol Sucrose|
Though difficult to decipher…the Brand Name is MMR II…If you go back to my post “Vaccines From Aborted Babies“ you will see that this is one of the Vaccines that is made up of Fetal Cell Lines. Ditto for the following.
|Imovax® Rabies||SP||IM||Inactivated||Rab||Killed virus||Neomycin||Human albumin|
|Priorix®||GSK||SC||Live||M, M, R||Live virus||Neomycin||Lactose|
Latex in stopper
|Formaldehyde Polysorbate 20|
|Varivax® III||MF||SC||Live||Var||Live virus||Gelatin
|Bovine serum Glutamate Residual protein from cell culture
Again, as a Parent, as a Catholic Christian Parent, I intend to do my part. Please do yours…
I did not know about this! I had no idea, not an inkling, not a clue…
If it were not for my Blog Surfing, I would never have found out about this Moral Problem.
I had not visited Shoved to them for a while…and did so today. I came across a Post where aka the Mom received a Recognition, the St. Michael Warrior Award. I’ll let you all read about her experience. It was through her experience that I found out about these vaccines and this site:
Children Of God For Life. This site has a letter from the Vatican along with an English translation of a Study done in regards to “tainted” vaccines.
It is not so Black and White. Not in all of the cases.
The study delves into “licit cooperation of evil.” It speaks of formal and material cooperation. Direct and indirect. Proximate and Remote cooperation. Finally, Active and Passive. You are welcome to go to the site and read the paragraphs for yourself.
Here is an excerpt that denounces the active formal cooperation and even the Guilty “Innocent” Bystander (quick tip of the hat to Fr. Mario):
Firstly, one must consider morally illicit every form of formal cooperation (sharing the evil intention) in the action of those who have performed a voluntary abortion, which in turn has allowed the retrieval of foetal tissues, required for the preparation of vaccines. Therefore, whoever – regardless of the category to which he belongs — cooperates in some way, sharing its intention, to the performance of a voluntary abortion with the aim of producing the above-mentioned vaccines, participates, in actuality, in the same moral evil as the person who has performed that abortion. Such participation would also take place in the case where someone, sharing the intention of the abortion, refrains from denouncing or criticizing this illicit action, although having the moral duty to do so (passive formal cooperation).
The above, are guilty. No ifs ands or buts.
Now, where do we as parents stand? Are we guilty if we didn’t know? Are we guilty if we continue using them? Here is what the document states:
[...] Those who need to use such vaccines for reasons of health, it must be emphasized that, apart from every form of formal cooperation, in general, doctors or parents who resort to the use of these vaccines for their children, in spite of knowing their origin (voluntary abortion), carry out a form of very remote mediate material cooperation, and thus very mild, in the performance of the original act of abortion, and a mediate material cooperation, with regard to the marketing of cells coming from abortions, and immediate, with regard to the marketing of vaccines produced with such cells. The cooperation is therefore more intense on the part of the authorities and national health systems that accept the use of the vaccines.
[...] Doctors and fathers of families have a duty to take recourse to alternative vaccines13 (if they exist), putting pressure on the political authorities and health systems so that other vaccines without moral problems become available. They should take recourse, if necessary, to the use of conscientious objection 14 with regard to the use of vaccines produced by means of cell lines of aborted human foetal origin. Equally, they should oppose by all means (in writing, through the various associations, mass media, etc.) the vaccines which do not yet have morally acceptable alternatives, creating pressure so that alternative vaccines are prepared, which are not connected with the abortion of a human foetus, and requesting rigorous legal control of the pharmaceutical industry producers.
[In] regards [to] the diseases against which there are no alternative vaccines which are available and ethically acceptable, it is right to abstain from using these vaccines if it can be done without causing children, and indirectly the population as a whole, to undergo significant risks to their health. However, if the latter are exposed to considerable dangers to their health, vaccines with moral problems pertaining to them may also be used on a temporary basis. The moral reason is that the duty to avoid passive material cooperation is not obligatory if there is grave inconvenience. Moreover, we find, in such a case, a. proportional reason, in order to accept the use of these vaccines in the presence of the danger of favouring the spread of the pathological agent, due to the lack of vaccination of children. This is particularly true in the case of vaccination against German measles15.
In any case, there remains a moral duty to continue to fight and to employ every lawful means in order to make life difficult for the pharmaceutical industries which act unscrupulously and unethically. However, the burden of this important battle cannot and must not fall on innocent children and on the health situation of the population – especially with regard to pregnant women.
If you have no choice, if there are no alternative vaccines, if it is medically necessary for the health and well-being of your child and it is to save the population, then GO FOR IT! Otherwise, abstain. Do not have your children, or yourselves, vaccinated.
No matter what your situation…You MUST, WE ALL MUST voice our Objection to these morally illicit vaccines. Here is a list of them:
The vaccines that are incriminated today as using human cell lines from aborted foetuses, WI-38 and MRC-5, are the following:7
A) Live vaccines against rubella8 :
- the monovalent vaccines against rubella Meruvax®!! (Merck) (U.S.), Rudivax® (Sanofi Pasteur, Fr.), and Ervevax® (RA 27/3) (GlaxoSmithKline, Belgium);
- the combined vaccine MR against rubella and measles, commercialized with the name of M-R-VAX® (Merck, US) and Rudi-Rouvax® (AVP, France);
- the combined vaccine against rubella and mumps marketed under the name of Biavax®!! (Merck, U.S.),
- the combined vaccine MMR (measles, mumps, rubella) against rubella, mumps and measles, marketed under the name of M-M-R® II (Merck, US), R.O.R.®, Trimovax® (Sanofi Pasteur, Fr.), and Priorix® (GlaxoSmithKline UK).
B) Other vaccines, also prepared using human cell lines from aborted foetuses:
- two vaccines against hepatitis A, one produced by Merck (VAQTA), the other one produced by GlaxoSmithKline (HAVRIX), both of them being prepared using MRC-5;
- one vaccine against chicken pox, Varivax®, produced by Merck using WI-38 and MRC-5;
- one vaccine against poliomyelitis, the inactivated polio virus vaccine Poliovax® (Aventis-Pasteur, Fr.) using MRC-5;
- one vaccine against rabies, Imovax®, produced by Aventis Pasteur, harvested from infected human diploid cells, MRC-5 strain;
- one vaccine against smallpox, AC AM 1000, prepared by Acambis using MRC-5, still on trial.
I found a list of ALTERNATIVE VACCINES on another WP Blog, Umm Muhammad Ahmad’s Blog. Here is a bit of it:
The following vaccines do not use fetal cell lines. L= licensed by FDA UL= not licensed by FDA (I do not know if it is possible to obtain unlicensed vaccines in the US. Please E-mail me if you know about this. Also please let me know if there are any more suitable alternatives and any import companies able to supply them.)
Disease Brand name Company Cell line Polio IPOL (L)
Monkey kidney & calf serum
Monkey Kidney cells
Mumps Mumpsvax (L) Provaccine, Switzerland
Merck Sharpe & Dohme USA
Chick embryo Measles Attenuvax (L) Merck sharpe & Dohme USA Rubella Takahashi Strain (UL) Kitasato Institute Rabbit Kidney Rabies (RVA )(L)
RabAvert (PECE) (L)
Chirion Bering Gmbl & Co
Hepatitis A Aimmugen (UL) Chemo-therapeutic Institute Japan (Kaketsuken) Monkey Kidney Flu All brands (L) All manufacturers Chick embryos Yellow Fever YF-Vax (17D) (L) Pasteur Merieux Connaught Chick embryo Japanese Encephalitis JE-Vax (L) Biken Osaka, Distributed by Connaught Mouse derived Smallpox (L) Supplied by CDC
For Laboratory Workers and Military
Last night, the Topic was Balance.
Ideally we are to achieve, and it is our Obligation, as parents, to help our Children achieve, Balance. Physical, Mental and Spiritual Balance.
Father Mario spoke of how in our Society, our Subjective Society, there is plenty of focus on the Physical and Mental realms of our lives. Looking good, being healthy and acquiring information that leads to intelligence, etc. In spite of the focus being on the subject, there is one area of the Subject that society does not concern itself with…the Spiritual.
Truth, Morality, Ethics, it is all being presented as, well, as Subjective! Situational Ethics is all the rage. Society does not pose, nor does it care to pose a Universal Truth, A Universal Code of Morality or Ethics. It all depends on the situation.
Imagine, if Truth depends on the Context, if Morality depends on the Situation, and the same holds true for Ethics, then where does that leave our Sense of Right and Wrong? Where does that leave our Conscience? How does that hold us Accountable or Teach us Responsibility? It doesn’t.
Hence, our need for Spirituality. A Spirituality born of a Steadfast Truth. A Truth that has existed since before You and I and Everything. A Truth that is the Way and is Life. A Truth that Is. A Truth from Christ and from His Spouse, the Church.
Why the Church? Why not just Jesus Christ? Simply put, because we can use all the help we can get. We need the support and guidance of our Mother Church to help us when we are unsure, lost, and lonely.
Father gave us the frightening statistic of how many Catholic Christians actually are PRACTICING Catholic Christians…20%!
Growing up in Southern California via Humble Beginnings, we could not afford a Catholic School education. It was a Private Education, thus, out of our reach. I used to think that the kids in Catholic School were so much better and knowledgable than I. That they were practically sacrosanct! As an adult, having seen the students and that results of those students, I could not have been more wrong.
It seems that a vast majority of the Parents whose children attend a Catholic School seem to think that the school will take care of all of their kids’ Spirtual needs. The Nuns, the Priests, the Teachers…the Parents leave their Kids to them. Don’t we wish it was really that easy?
The results for this sad lack of Responsibility, this lack of Parenting, are kids that don’t Practice their Faith. If the Parents don’t, why would the Kids? They know the theory. They know what they’re supposed to be doing. They know the Sacraments and do follow them, for the most part. But not out of Faith or Love of our Mother Church. They do it out of Tradition, Custom. They’re supposed to do it in order to be able to maintain their appearance of Catholics. And Catholics they are, Easter and Christmas Catholics, as Father put it, for these are the only times that they attend Mass. He also called them Shopping Catholics, for they shop for Baptisms, Confirmations, First Communions, Weddings…They Shop and Buy what suits them.
Wimpified Parents. That’s what he called us.
Once again, he reminded us how we have lost control, authority over our Children. How we should take notes from the Previous Generations. The “Because I Said So” Parents.
They were in Charge, in Control.
The “Comeback” he gets from Parents to this suggestion is, “Father, how can I force my son/daughter to attend Mass?” He told us how other parents, some even Catholic Parents, are appalled, shocked, that these Practicing Catholics ask their children to Practice as well. They are seen as “Extreme.” Scary isn’t it?
Well, Father’s simply asks these Parents, “Do you send your kids to school?” “Do you make your kids eat vegetables and nutritious meals?” And when these Parents respond, “Yes.” Well then he simply points out that they can “make” their kids to go Church as well. He points out that the Parents are ensuring their Intellectual Well-Being and their Physical Well-Being, but what about their Spiritual Well-Being? We will raise a Generation of Healthy, Intelligent Individuals with no clear Understanding of Faith, of Right and Wrong, of Morality.
Case in Point…
Father shared a sad experience that occurred during his first 3 months at our Parish. One night, 6 Youths, averaging 16 years of age, Vandalized the Church. They spray painted – well, Father simply called it Porn so as to not go into the details of it, but I am sure we all have a very good idea what it was -and defaced the Church. He was able to catch the Teens and when he spoke to the Parents, that most were shocked because their son was a Quarter Back, another got straight A’s, etc. These were “good” kids that were excelling in the Physical and Mental arena’s, but, as we can see, they were greatly lacking in the Spiritual Arena.
Even if we are called Cruel, Pushy, Extreme…Isn’t it better to have Balanced Children? Shouldn’t we set a Balanced Example, BE that example so that our Kids can follow and Respect?
What Parent doesn’t want a Healthy, Bright, Responsible, all around Great Kid? A Balanced Child?
There is nothing worse than being totally, completely and utterly vulnerable. And yet, that is what we are called to do.
When your defenses aren’t up. When you let people “in.” You are at their mercy. They can hurt you. They can…hurt you.
Last night, Fr. Mario’s Homily had to do with various interrelated subjects, Forgiveness, Parenting, and the Seventh Commandment: Stealing.
I’ll start with the Stealing. Many of us feel that it’s as narrow not taking pens from work, among the obvious big thefts. Fr. made it very clear that it is much, much broader than that. He told us that we can and do steal a person’s dignity and self-worth. This statement alone can be quite broad.
Let me start with one application of this statement that Fr. said many people don’t see. He told us that when we see our Brothers and Sisters in Christ, Cold, Naked and Hungry and we do nothing, we are in effect, Stealing from them. When we do not give. When we do not help. When we ignore. When we don’t do our part, we are stealing from them. We are stealing their food, their clothing and their human dignity.
I had heard this application of the Seventh before. And it is very easy to ignore. I have walked past a Homeless Person Downtown, in the Winter, lying on the Subway grates, surrounded by the Beautifully Merciless, Powdery White Snow, and have felt bad. Uneasy. Uncomfortable. Guilty! But have walked past. I stole.
How can we call ourselves Catholic Christians if we’re like everyone else?
This is an uncomfortable question that Fr. Mario posed to us. We are supposed to be different from our Mainstream, Individualistic, Consumer Fetishistic, Greedy Society. There are many other describers for our society that I could have used, but I’ll allow each of you to tack them on. Point being, that we, as Catholic Christians are supposed to be ”Weird.” Remember? People are supposed to look at us and find us odd. Why? Because we are called to live our Belief. We are Called to Live as Christ Taught Us. Christ was “Weird” in His time, He was a Criminal. We are called to be “Weird” in our time as well. Pro-Life. Loving our Neighbors as Ourselves. Loving God, our One True God above all the False gods our society glorifies, Money, Material Possessions, Prestige…
Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and that of the gospel will save it. What profit is there for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life? What could one give in exchange for his life? Whoever is ashamed of me and my words in this faithless and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels (Mark 8:34-38).
How much clearer can His words be? How frightening that these words that are about 2000 yrs old can still so easily, so exactly be applied today. Especially the, “in this faithless and sinful generation.” I suppose some things never change. We Sinful, Selfish, Fallen Humans don’t change all that much. Sad, isn’t it? You would think we would have learned by now. But that Tempter, he is Powerful. We give him so much Power. We make it all too easy…
Forgiveness. That’s probably one of the most difficult of all. For me, at least. It goes back to being Vulnerable. At the Mercy of others. Then there is also that Stinkin’ Pride. Hurt. Resentment. Fear. A lot of Fear.
When someone Hurts you, Lies to you, Betrays you…They in essence steal you dignity and self worth!
Christ calls us to Forgive. When they do hurt you, we are to give them the benefit of the doubt. We are to believe and trust and God does, that they will do their best to not do it again.
Then Peter approaching asked him, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:21-22).
Depending on your version, it will be seventy-seven as my New American Bible states, or as the NKJV states, “Seventy times Seven,” either way, we are to forgive as God does, Infinitely. Forgive and be Forgiven.
The theoretical aspect is Beautiful. The Application of it is in the very least Difficult.
God does it. Jesus DID IT! Even upon the Cross He forgave Us! Why then is it so difficult?
As I sat in the pews, I heard Father speak. I was moved. I wanted to reach out and Forgive. At that moment I was filled with Resilience, Fortitude, Love. And then we left the Church. That wall came up. Hurt chokes and overwhelms you. Fear takes over all reasoning. And it is all in Theory once again.
How can I be a good Example to my Children? How can I Parent properly when I can’t live my Faith?
Prayer. Nourishment from our Lord via Communion. Nourishment for my Soul by listening to His words. Letting myself be guided and inspired by Father Mario’s Inspiring Homilies, which thereby requires attending Mass. Surrounding myself with “Weird” People that live their Faith. Not give up. Though I fail, and will Fail Seventy times Seven times, Never, Ever stop Trying, for Myself, for My Well-Being, for My Families Well-Being, for My Children.
And therein lies the Parenting.
Father Mario spoke tonight about Ridding ourselves of the Silence.
He talked about the Diseases that burden us. He mentioned how we, as a society, focus on the Physical, Visible Diseases. And while those are Horrid, he focused on those that are not as visible and Plague us All!
Two, right off the bat were Pride and Selfishness. Of course we can all think of many, many more.
Now, when he said we needed to break that Silence, he referred to that fear of being judged, how others would see us if they knew of those Diseases with which we are Plagued.
Here’s the thing, I am willing to BET that we are ALL Plagued with these Diseases! Perhaps not to the same extent, nevertheless, we are Plagued.
My Papà Eliseo would always say, ”Others didn’t Support us, so what right did they have to talk about us.” Well, in a much more graphic manner, but this is what he meant. ;) I see the value in what he said. Don’t agree with it completely, yet, I see the value.
I feel there is much to be gained if we stop worrying about Appearances. You see, the reason my Papá Eliseo would go on with rants about Others Judging us, is because my Mamá Lola, God Bless Her, would…Does, rather, worry a great deal about Others’ opinions. What they think. What they’ll say. How our Family looks, morally speaking. Manners. Always being Proper. Those types of things. I suppose it really got under his skin. Thus, he was quite vocal about it.
I say we have much to gain if we open ourselves if we share our struggles. We do not exist in a vacuum. Others go through, and have gone through, what we have and are going through. If we look for support, we’ll find it. If we look for advice, oh yeah, we’ll get TONS of it. If we seek guidance, it will also come.
Father stated how we Parents are ruled by our young. He is AbsoPosiLutely RIGHT!
We are afraid of denying our kids anything. Some Parents may fear the 9-1-1 call as Fr. said. Others may fear their kids not loving them (I am guilty of this). Others want their kids to have everything they didn’t. And some just want their kids to have it ALL! Whatever the EXCUSE, yes, EXCUSE…Whatever it is, we are ruled by our young.
I have seen little girls, no older than 3 or 4 yrs of age getting mani and pedi’s! I see kids that have no need for a cell phone with an iPhone (if they’re getting dropped off and picked up by their parents from school, they do not need it, did I mention they’re like 8!!). There are kids with overpriced clothing, shoes, and accessories.
Believe me I UNDERSTAND! I do. But then what are we going to do as they grow up and they have been brought up with this sense of ENTITLEMENT?? Then what happens? There’s a saying, “Cria Cuervos y te sacaran los ojos.” Raise Crows and they will take your Eyes out. Do you understand what I mean? The good ole’ “Give them an arm and they’ll take a leg.” Wait, I think that one is in Spanish too. Here it is, “Give them and Inch and they’ll take a Mile!” The Blessings of being Bilingual, you get your sayings all jumbled up. ;) But I digress…
Father hit the nail on the head. We need to find that Middle Ground with our Kids. Too Strict is not good, but neither is too lenient and giving.
We need to speak up about those Diseases that Plague our Homes! Our Families! Our Lives!
By doing so, perhaps we can all work together to “cure” them. If these Diseases are out in the Open, and we see them for what they are, DISEASES, then they’re less likely to rule over us because we’ll all have the knowledge of their existence and we can all keep each other in check, so to speak.
How amazing is a Mother? How special her place. How without equal she is. How irreplaceable what she does.
I recall hearing the “Grown-Ups” in my family likening God to a Mother.
When something goes wrong and you need something to blurt out, it is either an “Ay Amá - Oh Mother,” or an “Ay Dios Mio – Oh My God!”
When you’re startled, frightened or need saving, you cry out “Mamá, Amá - Mother, Mom,” or “Dios Mio – My Lord, My God!”
And not only do we, in Spanish, liken a Mother to God, but in this Sunday’s First Reading from the book of the Prophet Isaiah, God also assumes the role of a Mother:
Rejoice with Jerusalem,
and be glad for her,
all you who love her;
rejoice with her in joy,
all you who mourn over her -
that you may nurse and be satisfied
from her consoling breast;
that you may drink deeply with delight
from her glorious bosom.
For thus says the Lord:
”I will extend prosperity to her like a river,
and the wealth of nations like an overflowing stream;
and you shall nurse and be carried on her arm,
and dandled on her knees.
As a mother comforts her child,
so I will comfort you;
you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.
You shall see, and your heart shall rejoice;
your bodies shall flourish like the grass;
and it shall be known
that the hand of the Lord is with his servants” (66:10-14).
As I said, how Important, how Unique, how Special, how irreplaceable is a Mother. A true Masterpiece by our Lord.
Moreover, a Mother is another bit of God on Earth. Yes, we have Priests, but they can’t hold us, rock us, coddle us, caress our hair as we fall asleep at night. A Mother is a nurturing, nourishing, tender embodiment of our Lord that we can kiss, hug and love not just when we’re Babies, but as we grow up and once we’re grown.
No matter how old we get, how much we think we know, we will always be our Mothers’ Babies. By the same token, no matter how independent we become, how much we believe we can go it alone, God is always there for and with us.
Having said all of this, why then do we forget our Mother’s Birthday? Why do we not call? How can we put them in homes? Why do we shun their love and care?
For the same reason we stray from God. We are Arrogant. We are Selfish. We take the easy road, the road filled with Temptations, the road that hurts God, our families, ourselves.
Maybe, just maybe, if we start by appreciating Mom, then maybe we can find our way to God easier…Maybe…