A Faith Journey

Marriage

In Our Face Kind of Post!

I just Love, Love, Love The Crescat!

From SheKnows.com

From SheKnows.com

She tends to yank ‘yer ears, ya know.

I admire her outspokenness. I admire her ability to rant so eloquently!

Mine are, well…just rants :P

HERE you will find a Very Well-Intentioned, Very Wise, In-Parents’-Face, in Our-Face kind of post.

All I can say after reading it is…Here, Here!!!

Dear Lord, help me be a Parent that Can and Will say No at the right times ♥

Oh, and yes, I could tell you much, much more about the post, but, well, I would deprive you of the Joy of seeking it out yourself ;)

Happy Ascension Thursday!!

Wish I was in Teuchi :?

 


Better Late Than Never

This should have been shared with you yesterday…

Thankfully, it is Never Too Late ;)

As I shared with you on the 30th of April, May is the Month of Mary ♥

And yesterday, as you all know was “May Day.”

Labour Day in many, many countries.

And whose feast day?  St. Joseph the Worker. Patron Saint of many, many things, and not surprisingly  of Workers!

What I really want to say though is that it is More than appropriate the St. Joseph be celebrated and remembered on the first day of his Spouse, our Mother, Mary.

Who better than Her and Jesus’ Protector and Provider?

As I have shared with you many, many times, we have attended Retrouvaille, A Life Line for Hurting Marriages.

Guess who is Retrouvaille’s Patron Saint?

Come on now, you got this…

Yup, St. Joseph!

I share with you a Beautiful Prayer based on Matthew 1:18-25

Holy Family

 

We ask your prayers, St. Joseph, an upright man, a spouse who planned to divorce Mary in secret and who by God’s grace was able to see his role in God’s plan.

We ask you in our behalf to pray to God that our marriage be healed. We are enveloped in pain and despair as you must have been when you learned of Mary’s pregnancy. Be for and with us, Joseph, in our hour of doubt. Let us listen to and heed the voice of God as you did.

Be our intercessor to your Jesus, to give us the blessings to change, to listen, to forgive and most of all to hope that our marriage will heal and our family remain whole and holy.

We give you honour  quiet St. Joseph, for you are a spouse like us, who while knowing pain, did not divorce. By God’s grace you nourished the Holy Family and the Saviour of all families throughout the ages.

Amen.


The Primitive Cruelty of Modern “Love” by Anthony Esolen

Wow!

All I can say is What a Beautiful Piece of work this is.

I will not taint it with my take…you will just have to read it.

HERE it is…

The Primitive Cruelty of Modern “Love” by Anthony Esolen

Nicolas Regnier- Hero and Leander

Nicolas Regnier- Hero and Leander


Obey First, Feelings Next…Who Knew?

From the Peaceful Wife Blog…

We want feelings to come first – then we think we might be willing to obey God after we have the feelings we want.

But God requires us to put our trust in Him first. And He requires us to obey Him first. THEN the feelings will come. Sometimes – the feelings of peace, joy and fulfillment come within minutes of obeying God. Sometimes it takes days, weeks, months or years. Sometimes our reward for our obedience will not be seen until heaven.

This is true in practically everything God asks us to do. But you can see it clearly in a marriage relationship.

We wives want to see our husbands love us first and we want to feel loved before we obey God and respect our husbands and honor their leadership. But the way God works is that when we obey His commands, the feelings of love eventually come (most of the time).

If I make my feelings the biggest thing – more important than my obedience to Christ – I am dealing with an idol. That is exactly what I used to do.

When I feel disappointed in my husband or in anyone – it is a good time to check to see if I am putting something before Christ in my heart and tear it all out by the root and center my worship, my focus, my purpose, my faith, my hope, my joy, my identity and my entire being on Christ alone.


Am I With the Right Partner?

Great tidbit for us Married folks, and even for those who are Considering Marriage!

Please note towards the end, the one statement that gets reinforced over and over again in Retrouvaille

Love is not a Feeling, Love is a Decision (Great Post on the Topic).

Enjoy!

From YourDailyWord.com

From YourDailyWord.com

 

ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?

During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?”
In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?”
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind
replied the author.

Here’s the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO Anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.”Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfilment.
Extramarital fulfilment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO! ♥


Marriage

“Marriage is something greater than a contract, for it involves also a sacrifice.

His and HersThe woman sacrifices an irreparable gift, which was the gift of God and was the object of her mother’s anxious care: her fresh young beauty, frequently her health, and that faculty of loving which women have but once.

The man, in his turn, sacrifices the liberty of his youth, those incomparable years  which never return, the power of devoting himself to her whom he loves, which is vigorous only in his early years, and the ambition–inspired by love–to create a happy and glorious future.

All this is possible but once in a man’s life–perhaps never. Therefore Christian marriage is a double oblation, offered in two chalices, one filled with virtue, purity, and innocence; the other with unblemished self-devotion, the immortal consecration of a man to her who is weaker than himself, who was unknown to him yesterday, and with whom today he is content to spend the remainder of his life.

These two cups must be both filled to the brim in order that the union may be holy and that Heaven may bless it.”

THREE TO GET MARRIED (by Fulton J. Sheen, Ph.D., D.D. )


Your Husband is Your MAN, Not Your Child

I know…I know…I am bombarding you with posts today.

But there is so much GOOD STUFF Out There!

And sometimes I truly believe that if I don’t share it, you may not see it…please note the self-importance there ;)

As a woman, I too struggle in how to apply Respect for my Husband in my Marriage.

From PrayerGifts.net

From PrayerGifts.net

I kind of get a lot of the Theory…it’s the Application that is a tremendous challenge!

I believe I am not alone ;)

HERE is a post from Habits For A Happy Home.com, it is titled, “How to Be Your Husband’s Wife and Not His Mommy.”

Trust me, as I read I charged myself guilty of quite a few of these.

Note, I am not a stay-at-home Mommy, not quite yet, and I do not have the gift to be able to Home school…

I am a simple Mommy and Wife trying her best to have a Marriage where we put God First as this is the path to a Strong, Committed, Sanctified Marriage.

So…yeah…I will continue to bombard you with stuff I find that I feel is worth sharing, but above all, I will share what helps our Marriages…

Like RETROUVAILLE!!!

Can’t say enough about Retrouvaille!


2 More from The Respect Dare

The Respect Dare The Respect Dare


From The Respect Dare

A Book I MUST Read!

 

The Respect Dare


Prayer for a Married Couple

On this day that we are “Forced” to remember and celebrate Love, I wanted to share with you a Beautiful Prayer from…

Wait for it…

Yes, you got it…

RETROUVAILLE!!!

 

Married-couples

A Prayer for a Married Couple

O God our Father, we thank you
for blessing our union in Marriage.
Deepen and Strengthen
our Love for each other
day by day.

Help us to be thankful
for the distinctive qualities
of our personalities, as well as
our similar interests.

Enable us to Forgive
when we hurt each other.
Make and keep us
sound in body,
alert in mind,
tender in heart,
devout in spirit.

As we grow in intimacy with one another,
grant us a clearer awareness
of your life-giving presence
in our life.

Enable us to serve you and those about us
so that we may always stand before you
in peace and joy,
through Jesus Christ our Lord.

† Amen †


Rules for a Happy Marriage

Happy-MarriageWith Valentine’s Day just 2 days away, I wanted to share with you some of the Treasures that Retrouvaille has given us.

1. Never both be angry at the same time.

2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.

3. If one of you has to win the argument, let it be your mate.

4. If you have to criticize, do it Lovingly.

5. Never bring up the mistakes of the past.

6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.

7. Never to to sleep with an argument unsettled.

8. Try to say something complimentary to your Spouse at least once a day.

9. When you’ve done something wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness.

10. It takes two to fight and the one in the wrong is the one who does the most talking.

 

As with many things, easier said than done, Trust me, I know ;)

But everything worthwhile takes work. LOTS OF WORK!

And if anything is worth it, it’s your Covenant before God…your Marriage ♥

God Love You ♥


Another Marriage Saved

I asked some time back if I could share this article with you all.

It is titled “We Were Emotionally Separated” by BJ Lynch.

This individual has been kind enough to allow me to share their experience with you.

BJ Lynch is also a Retrouvaille Fan!  In Las Vegas, Nevada!! You will find their site here.

You know, after reading a few of the articles on the Las Vegas Retrouvaille site, I am not afraid to admit that I have been skirting around many things…

My husband has been much more direct…

Here is one of his posts:

I’m Not Happy Anymore! – The Truth Behind Marriage Myths

There are others, from him and from yours truly…just search in that little rectangle on the upper right hand side…

Search for Retrouvaille and/or Marriage…

I wish you all a Wonderful Weekend, but above all, now that we have entered February and are so close Valentine’s Day…a day that can be very dreaded…know that there IS Hope…And I wish you all the Courage to seek it.  I challenge you to fight for your Marriage and Not give up!

God Love You ♥


Is it?

There are many things in this world that hurt.

Scraping your knee after a fall.

Smashing your fingers on the car door.

One of the worst, at least in my humble opinion, is the hurt that comes from a betrayal.

This can come in many forms.

Someone that you trust and care deeply for says an unkind word, or shares something you told them in confidence.

A person that you thought was your friend goes around bad-mouthing you.

The person that you have chosen to love displays affection and/or attention elsewhere.

Now, this last example will be different for each person.

I know that flirting can be quite innocent. I tend to do it quite a bit…Hey, I am a flawed individual with a fragile ego, K.

I know, not an excuse, but, I am using it as one ;)

Oh, and so you know, I hate double standards, unless of course I am the one “benefitting.”

Why this comment?

Because though I am a very friendly individual and yes, do flirt at times, if my Husband did it, it would hurt!  Deeply!  Quite frankly, I would feel betrayed!

Now we can sit here and go over a bunch of societal norms, our families of origin, personalities, that we know our limits and can control them, blah, blah, blah…

Fact would still remain that it is quite simply a double standard.

However, one can sit here and argue that having set a precedent does factor in…

Why this all of a sudden out of nowhere post?

This…

Cheating

Oh yeah…I have decided to open up a can of worms…

Let me just end this post by saying, Thank God for Retrouvaille!!


Someone to Watch Over Me

Believe it or not I have been afraid to come back…

I have felt unworthy, distracted, fallen…too fallen to return and “speak” with you.

Nothing like exposing yourself to try and keep you accountable ;)

For weeks now I have had so much to share, but didn’t know how to approach you…

Today, I have the perfect excuse reason to return!

Today the Partner that God allowed me to have in my life and share my life with celebrates his Big 4-0!

We have had more than our Fair Share of difficulties, challenges and of course those beloved ups and downs…but through it all my Love for him has never dwindled, decreased, much less died.

The beginning of our Marriage we far less than ideal…but at least we will have stories in our oldER age ;)

According to my twisted logic, in another 20 years or so, hopefully less, things will no longer sting and we will be able to laugh about it…I hope!

Sadly Pathetically, I have done more than my fair share to ruin our relationship as well.

Again, not due to a Lack of Love! Far from it!

Selfishness.  Self-centeredness.  Cowardice.  Martyr Syndrome.
I can name a whole slew of sorry excuses, but none justify my stupidity.

I Love my Husband with all I have, with all I am! I do!

I don’t want to imagine my life without him!

All I can do is Pray that Our Loving and Forgiving God will allow me to share the rest of my life with him.

That He will give me, yet again, another chance to try and be the Wife, Partner, and Friend he deserves.

Thank You, Lord for the gift of my Husband.

Forgive me for not valuing it at all times.

Please, please give me “one more chance” at trying to be better!

Even more, Please, God, Bless him, Guide him, never release him from your Loving Embrace ♥

May he always hear Your Voice, discern the path that will lead him to You.

Cuidalo, Dios Mio.

Y que NUNCA se le olvide cuanto lo Amo!

Open his heart and fill it with You, Your Love for us all.

All this I ask, I plead for, in Jesus’ name…

Amen ♥

 

Happy Birthday, Patootie ♥

Regardless of Time and Distance…

Always and All Ways…


For Hurting Marriages

Retrouvaille

If you have been to this blog before, you may be familiar with Retrouvaille already.

If you are new, first, Thanks!  Next, allow me to quickly catch you up to speed…

My Husband and I have experienced a great many, many difficulties in our Marriage, to the point of separating and close to calling it quits permanently.

We received a lifeline. My Beloved Patootie, not wanting to give up on us found Retrouvaille, a lifeline for hurting marriages.

I cannot recommend it enough!!

Here you can find a  post by my Husband and you are more than welcome to peruse via the search feature at the top.  Just search Retrouvaille.

Here is a pic he put together that I HAVE to share with You!!

Retrouvaille

And please, do not keep this information to yourself.

If you happen to not be in Toronto, Retrouvaille is WORLD WIDE!!!!!!!!

Check out their website here.

God Love You †

And let others know, we all need help sometimes ♥

 


Jokes and Marriage

From AlmightyDad.com

‘My trick is to make Katari laugh. I like to tell jokes and make her smile. Being funny is my way of being romantic,’ the husband Karam tells the paper.
‘I have been told laughing makes you live longer… my wife is still alive so it must have worked! I love her so much and I want to spend another 80 years by her side.’

87 years of Marriage!  There must be SOME truth to this!

From AlmightyDad.com

Just wanted to share some Joy and Hope.  ;)

Read here for the entire story.


Love My Spouse Even When They…

Love as God Does

The marriage-affirming mind-set is about completely loving the personhood of your spouse for the simple reason that that’s how God loves that person. It’s a decision on your part to love your spouse no matter what and to love in an active way.

— from The Catholics Next Door

To Love as God Loves.

Talk about tall order!

Through the thick and the thin.

Through the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

And let me tell You…it can get very Ugly at times.  This is when it is hardest to Love, at all! Much less as God Loves.

But I also know from experience that this is PRECISELY when we have to Love the Most!

When our Spouse is at their worst, when they are hurting us the most, when they are, what we believe, purposefully, vindictively and mercilessly hurting us…This is when we should TRY our best to take a step back and hear what they are NOT saying.

Are they scared, insecure, hurting, feeling like they are failing you, lost and know not how to help you…so many emotions could be running through their heads, and while we think it is all about us, how they are hurting US…Maybe, just maybe, it is not about us at all…

God Love You ♥


“Should Catholics Marry Young”

Not THIS Young!

This is the title of an article by Pat Archbold in the National Catholic Register which you can find here.

Here is just a bit of the article, towards the end:

Many Catholics, like society at large, encourage their children to postpone  marriage. Go to college. Get a job. Get financially stable. Date around. Find  out who you are first, then consider marriage. Problem is, by the time you do  all these things to find out who YOU are, the one things you can count is who  you are is ‘not married.’ This is why people now do not get married until they  are in their late twenties, if at all. By then, society has messed them up so  much by a decade of self-centeredness that they will probably make lousy  spouses.

Speaking from experience, from the time I turned twenty-one until I got  married in my thirties, I learned nothing other than how to be a narcissistic  jerk. I learned more about who I really am in my first two years of being a  husband and a father than during that entire lost decade.

[...]

Today, we treat marriage as some sort of elective class that you can drop if  things don’t go well rather than the core curriculum.

If we want our children to grow up to be good wives or good husbands, good  fathers and good mothers, why do we tell them to wait? What message does it send  about how we value marriage?

I think that Catholics should encourage our young people to find themselves  in marriage. We routinely ask our little children what they want to be when they  grow up and they often respond “I want to be married. I want to be a  mommy/daddy.” We think it is cute and then ask them “But what do you want to  do?” As if being married and being a parent is not enough.

I think that the best thing that could happen to marriage is that people,  particularly Catholics, encourage their children to get married younger. The  more time they spend finding themselves, the lesser the likelihood that there  will be anything worth finding.

This is one of those difficult articles.

Difficult because I do see what Mr. Archbold is saying.  I see his points.  I even concur with most.

My beef is that I did marry young.  19 to be exact. And now I am in my second marriage.

Did I just drop my first marriage as an elective course?  Far from it!

I stayed with the father of my Babies for many, many years after I knew I should not be there.  Granted my situation was quite special.

I was messed up.  Allow me to correct that…I am Messed Up.

My entire life up to the time I had my Baby Girl, my Pumpkin Princess, I hated men.  I wanted them all to suffer.  All of them! Including her father.

Many times, he made me madder than most men because he was not like the rest of them.

He did not pressure me for sex.  He did not try at every moment and opportunity to “cop a feel.”  Can you believe he had the audacity to respect me, protect me and care for me?!  I mean, who does that!

My family fell in love with him.  They truly loved him more than me!  To this day, quite a few of my relatives still prefer him over me ;)

Again, perhaps my situation because I am a pretty messed up individual is not the best “vs.” case to this article, but it still leaves me wondering…

How about you?

God Love You ♥  And may He help messed-up me ;)

 


Not for the Faint of Heart

Borrowed from OffTheMark.com

Relationships are hard.

They can be more than a bit trying leaving you wondering if they are even worth it!

Last night I found myself telling 2 Wonderful and Beloved friends that from the 365 days a year, I ponder upon this same issue about…well…approximately 360 days of the year. ;)

While I said it in jest, we have a saying in Español:

Entre Broma y Broma, Cae La Pedrada.

Literally translated, between one joke and another, the stone is thrown. Meaning, that to all “Just Playing” or “I’m Kidding, don’t take it so seriously!” or “I was just messing with you” or any variation of these, there is always some truth.  There is always some truth to teasing, to “jokes.”

And while 360 may be way too many days in the year to wonder if getting Married was a good decision, it does occur.

I Love my Other Half.  I do.  That will never change.

But, Dear Lord Help Me!  Sometimes……..

Let’s just say that sometimes his going back to Mommy doesn’t seem like such a bad idea ;)

Not to bash all Mum-In-Laws, I mean, My Mami is one and she is Phenomenal ;) Yeah I know, she IS my Mami, what else am I going to say.  But, I have had the opportuinity to have another Mother-In-Law and I Loved, and still Love and Admire that woman! She taught me so much!  But above all, she treated me like a daughter.  No, better than she treated her own daughters at times!

I remember arriving to El Valle that night.

It was a new town for me.  No family, no friends, no one.

I had never met my Ex-Husbands immediate Family.  They just knew that we got Married because, well, basically because I got Pregnant.  Plain and Simple.

I had met my Ex’s aunt in Cali, and let me tell you!!!  She really, really, really disliked me because I was born in the US.

You see, in her limited way of thinking, the girls that were born and raised in México were so much better than we Pochas (I totally dislike that word, btw).  She believed that México raised, small town raised girls were much better women all the way around for they knew how to make, care for and create a home.  These types of females knew how to serve their husbands and how to behave, appropriately. While we evil US raised girls were selfish, self-centered, and lazy.  According to his Aunt, we did not know how to cook, do laundry, clean…basically, we lacked any domestic skills.

Time and experience proved her wrong and taught me different.

The small town raised girls were more dependent than a US raised girl will ever be.

Granted, there always exist exceptions, I know this, but in general, these are the things I observed.

You see, in the US, we have to be self-sufficient.  Usually both parents work.  Thus, you have to cook for yourself, do your own laundry, clean-up and help around the house because otherwise there will be Hell to pay when your parents get home, for they have been working all day and you’ve been home since 3ish.  So, dinner better be made, the house clean, all chores done and you had better have finished or at least started your homework because you are expected to maintain very good grades.

Contrast this to the small town girl.  Her Mom is usually a Home Maker.  Therefore, the Mom will have breakfast made.  The Mom will do all the cooking, period.  The girl will have to clean her room.  Maybe help with the wash. Otherwise the Mom will do it as she is home all day.
The girl gets home from school, has a snack that the Mom has prepared. She does her homework.  Once done, they will all sit together and crochet, knit, cross-stitch or any variation of these to pass the time until Dad gets home and they have dinner that the Mom prepared.

So…how are they better prepared??  And this is just a very brief overview.

Now, where was I?  Wait while I scroll above….

Okay…re-reading above I am aware that I did not directly but in a very non-upfront kind of way maybe made my Mother-In-Law seem like maybe she’s not the greatest.

Anyway…   ;)

Okay, that’s wrong! Sorry! But she can be difficult at times, as I know she is more than happy to say that and much, much more about me :P

Anywho.  I do Love my Husband, I do.

But yes, relationships are very trying.

There are the misunderstandings.  The different temperaments. The having to adapt. And this is just the tip of the iceberg.  This is the easy part.

It gets ugly when Trust is Lost.  When you discover things that afterward, you wish you hadn’t.

It is horrid when you have to have a “Discussion,” that will undoubtedly lead to a nasty fight.

And Heaven forbid that fight be unfair!  Meaning that slurs are thrown about wrecklessly.  There is no respect for one another as a Creature, a Creation of God.  The roles we are to take are taken for granted or forgotten, abandoned even for the sake of venom being spewed from those lips that you not too long ago perhaps ardently kissed.

But the loss of trust.  That is Hell on Earth!  Not knowing.  Not believing.  Not wanting to accept, to know.

When you are betrayed.  Lied to.  Cheated on.  When that, which you lovingly, trustingly, unconditionally gave them on a silver platter is tossed aside. Thrown to the ground carelessly, no, Wrecklessly…

Trust is one of the worst things, if not THE worst thing to lose.

How do you fill a Being with Love then there are puncture wounds all over through which any attempt not may, but will leak through?

That is one of the Best analogies that I have ever come across!

The Love Tank, if you will, of a Person that has been abused, hurt, cheated on, betrayed, etc will have holes.

At the beginning very big ones, many, many big ones.  With time they may become smaller, but they may be there for a very, very long time.  And as others, especially the person that made those holes try to fill your tank with Love, their words, actions, gestures, will leak through these holes.  Thus, they need to do a lot and frequently in order for the injured one to feel any sort of relief, security, confidence, trust…

When I came across this analogy, I felt that it fully explained my situation with my Other Half.  He tries, very hard at times to provide security and to make me feel loved, the problem lies not just with the holes, but with the fact that when he loses his temper or loses respect for me as his Wife, his Partner, his Tabernacle, he not just makes new holes, but the existing ones grow bigger.

And honestly, nothing frustrates me more than when he tells me he doesn’t know what to do to make things better, therefore he just chooses to make them worse by being a JERK!

It frustrates me because I have time and time again sat with him and shared what things fill me with Confidence, Trust, Security, with Love…but he chooses consistently and constantly to do just the opposite.

It can be and is very trying.  Hence the 360 days ;)

But as I shared with the Lovely Ladies I was with last night, it is those 65 days that make it all worthwhile.

Those days aren’t just I Love You Days, no.  That would be too easy!

On those days, he has these epiphanies as to what a Marriage should be.

On those days, he realizes and shares with me that he understands how his role really IS to be Priest to our Family.

On those days, he is introspective and shares insights about himself that he had many times failed to see.

On those days, he is my Christ. ♥

Relationships are hard.

Relationships are a vocation.

Relationships definitely are not for the weak at heart ;)

And yet, we take them for granted.

How sad.  How very, very sad.


Thanksgiving in October!!

We all have much to be Thankful for…

Wretched Sentence, I know…but how else can I start? Don’t answer that, it’s rhetorical.

But we do.  Especially me. And the fact that I am now celebrating Thanksgiving in October as opposed to November allows me, FORCES me, to be Thankful at least 2 x’s in a Year!

First, I have been Blessed with 5 Beautiful Children!

It’s funny, I remember my Mamá Lola always told us that Children were like fingers on our hands, they are all different, but each is needed and a part of you.

My 5 are completely different.  My 5 are Loved Beyond Belief, even if they don’t believe it or want to Believe it!

I guess I can understand it though.  I’m not the Greatest Mom in the World.
I don’t know how to Say I Love You!

Not in the Literal Sense of course, but I don’t.  I don’t believe that I make my Kids feel Loved sometimes.
Not ALL the time, but sometimes.

First off, I’m not a touchy-feely kind of person.  It takes me a while to warm-up to Individuals, and sometimes even then.
My eldest, No. 1, she seems to be the same, and of course, I Blame Myself!
She’s a Brilliant Young Woman.  Too Hard On Herself.  Extremely High-Expectations of Others and of Herself.  She’s Gorgeous to boot!  And I have Failed her Infinite Times.

No. 2, has always been a Hugger!  I Love that he’s like that.  I just wish that I could provide him with More Hugs!  It is Impossible Now!  He’s thousands of miles away!
And believe me, I’ve made the resolution each and every time that “next” time, I’m going to this, and that and this and that.  Next time comes along and I fail miserably yet again!
I SUCK, I tell ‘ya!  I haven’t been a Mommy to Him.  A Mommy that he’s needed….

No. 3.  He’s more complex.  He is quite Intelligent.  He loves Physical Contact.  He wants it and yet sometimes he doesn’t.  He seems to crave it, and when he does receive it, he seems a bit uncomfortable with it.   Sounds kind of like me.  But he’s still my Baby, well my 10-yr-old Baby.  ;)
He has these eyes that seem to look right through you.  That look as if they can read and sense your every thought.  When he was a Baby, I used to think he could.  Now, I wish he would…

No. 4.  Dear Lord! This child is a Prissy Princess if there ever was one.  Touchy-Feely, not with me.  Her Dad and Lolo and Lola, yes.  Me, No.

No. 5.  She is a Crack-Up!  She’s all of 30 Months and makes up long-winded stories.  Tells jokes.  Questions everything and can debate over potty-training like No Other!  Oh, and she has a Horrible Temper, with Looks that can put you 10 Feet Under in a heartbeat!

My Blessed 5 are quite different.  So Beloved and don’t even know it.  Not they’re loved by me, anyway.  God gives me a chance each and every day to be better.  And each and every day I Fail! That’s not true!  There have been a couple of good days.  But overall, yes, I fail…

I find it easier to speak to others.  To show others my “Good” side.
With My Beloved 5.  I am always so afraid of making a Mistake that, ironically enough, that’s all I do!

I am quite Blessed that God gave me a an Opportunity today to be their Mom.  I just wish I had the Opportunity to do it better.  Closer.

This may sound absurd.  Because even as I think of writing it, I know it’s Preposterous!
Do you know that I try to not be a “Weak,” “Give-in,” “Spoils-her-youngest” kind of Mom, because I don’t want my First 3 Babies to resent or feel that I Love the 2 Youngest more!

Stupid, I know!
But I’m being Brutally Honest!

You see.  I am so Blessed that Our Lord gave me the Opportunity to Marry the Man that I Fell Madly and Passionately in Love with.
My 2 youngest are from this Marriage.

And what can I say about this Marriage?
Let’s just say that if you have followed my Blog, you know that the following is true:

None of the trials which have come upon you is more than a human being can stand. You can trust that God will not let you be put to the test beyond your strength, but with any trial will also provide a way out by enabling you to put up with it.

~ 1 Corinthians 10:13, New Jerusalem Bible.

We have all been through so much.  Some more than others…but what we must always remember is how Viktor Frankl puts it:

[...] a man’s suffering is similar to the behavior of gas. If a certain quantity of gas is pumped into an empty chamber, it will fill the chamber completely and evenly, no matter how big the chamber. Thus suffering completely fills the human soul and conscious mind, no matter whether the suffering is great or little.

Therefore the “size” of human suffering is absolutely relative.

I remember discussing this at CSUSB, and it truly has resonated and stuck with me.  It came up in Class because some were criticizing how some individuals suffer, and think it the end of the world when a nail breaks!  And for others, it takes much, much more.  They go through much, much more.  Which only confirmed the above quote.

Had someone told me then where I would be right now.  What I would be going through, in my arrogance and all-knowing nature, I would have scoffed at them.

“Moi?”

Life is certainly never boring.  But we do have many thing to be thankful for.  Even if at times it seems there are none…

Thank You, Lord.

Thank you for my Beloved 5.

Thank you for allowing me to Love.

Thank you for the Opportunity to Learn to Love, Give Love and Show Love.

Thank you for my Siblings.
That even though they may not like me at times, I Know they Love Me.  And I Know that they will Understand one day why I do or did what I do and did. ;)

Thank you for my Beautiful Mother, who at the age of 17, could have “chosen” to see me as a Reminder of a Traumatic Event, but instead “chose” to have me and allow me the opportunity to be Born and been the Best Mother she could Possibly Be! ♥

Thank you for giving me not 1 but 2 “Dads.”
One may not be speaking to me.  He may have chosen that, but perhaps I will summon up the courage to challenge his decision, but not yet…
The other, an Unlikely Dad for me by all accounts!  Only 12 years my Senior…but he has Blossomed into quite a Shoulder to Lean On ♥
He has become wise in his OLD AGE :P
He has been there for us when we feared worrying our Mom.

Thank you for all you give me, have given me and will continue to give.

I Pray that You give me the Grace to be Thankful Each and Every Day…regardless of the Circumstance.  I ask that you allow me to see You in Every Situation.  Opportunity, Love, and Hope always…

All this I ask of you through Jesus Christ, True God and True Man…

Amen.

 

 

 


New-ish House

As you know, we are buying a house.

Bought a house. 

It officially closes on Monday. 

You would think I would be excited.  Thrilled.  Overjoyed.  Heck, in the very least HAPPY! 

What I feel is dread.  Remorse.  Impending Doom…

Quite the opposite, isn’t it?

Paint on the walls may change the look of it.  But it is still drowning in Things…

I walk through the door and I am depleted of Life, of Love, (yes, I so wanted to continue with Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness, but it’s just too corny) of Energy, of Zest for Life. 

I walk through that door and all I want to do is Cry! 

My Babies arrive in a couple of hours, and originally I wanted to take them there, have a room ready for them…

Now, I don’t want to be there myself, why on Earth would I take them? 

I can almost say I hate it…

I know it’s not the House’s fault…but it is the Shell of it all…Sorry, House…But I don’t think I can see you as a Home…not under these circumstances…not now…

I just want it all gone…all of it…


Rogers’ Decision…

In case you don't recognize the image, I have provided a link below. Bullying is NEVER a Good Thing...

Trouble for the Great White North??

Read this

You can come to your own conclusion…

All I have to say is what I posted on Patrick’s page (whom I “borrowed” the link from on FB):

Here’s the thing…Goddard DID tweet from his OWN Private account…
Rogers IS setting a very, very Scary precedent…Here’s my question…had Goddard tweeted that he supported Avery instead, would he still have a job?
Biased Much??

Perhaps a bit of an explanation…Patrick states that had Goddard tweeted from his own Private Twitter Account, he probably would not have been fired…well, the fact is, HE DID!

The point that I am trying to make is that our Society is so Biased, so Skewed! 

It is Politically Correct to Support Pro-Choice (Yay, Abortion!), Gay Rights (Who says Marriage has to be between a man and a woman? What about Adam and Steve?), and any number of Counter-Catholic Christian Movements out there, but so Detrimentally Wrong to stand-up for Our Beliefs as Catholic Christians! 

Where is the Equality?  Where’s the Freedom of Speech?  Of Choice?  Freedom of Expression?  What about OUR RIGHTS?!?!  Why are we, the Vast Minority, it seems, not allowed to speak and share what We Think? I realize Canada is Different from the U.S. but come on now…

Political Correctness? RIIIIIIIIIIGHT…. 

Political Convenience…Manipulation of the Masses is more like it…

Read the Article…form your OWN Opinion!

And if this isn’t enough to get you to click on the link…

Here’s another one from the Toronto Sun:

There are too many places in the world where free speech is not allowed. But you have to wonder what’s worse — not being allowed to speak up, or being afraid to speak up?

To quote Rodney King:

Why can’t we all just get along?

Oh, and if you’re wondering why I don’t quote the entire article…well, it was pointed out in the VBM11 (Vatican’s Bloggers Meet 2011) that many people do not like it much when we “lift” their stories.  Therefore, I am providing you the link in hopes that you will go and read the article…Very well worth the time!


All Quiet on the Western Front

As many of you have read, this Blog (150 in total) was selected from a total of 750 that were submitted to the Vatican to attend a meeting for Authors of various Blogs Worldwide.

Unfortunately due to financial and other constraints, I was unable to accompany my Wife to Rome.

The Girls and myself are adjusting to Life without Mommy…It is only for a week. 

Day 1 and so far, All Quiet on the Western Front….Nothing to Report.

I remember my Wife and I being so excited when we would get 15 hits a day.  After only a Year, From The Pews now averages over 200 + Hits a day.  That number just keeps growing.

As Catholics, the majority of Us don’t evangelize very much if at all.  Whether it be the scandals, the Cafeteria Catholic (Easter and Christmas Catholics) or just the lukewarm attitude towards God, We don’t just don’t have the Zeal, the Fire we should.

Recently the Toronto Sun ran an Article (Click Here Read) titled “The God Squad” about 3 Catholic, Italian Priests.  

“The GodFathers” as the article called them.  It doesn’t get any more stereotypical than that.  If you read the story the Author obviously does not believe in God or in the least has many doubts about their own beliefs. 

Has it gotten so bad with all the scandals in the Church that we’ll even settle for this type of “publicity” ?

It’s such a shame that None of the Priests were wearing their collars in the photos (were they embarassed ?).  “The Godfathers” title pretty much speaks for itself.  Something is wrong when this type of “publicity” is printed without much protest. 

So as the Beatification of John Paul II and the Meeting of Bloggers approaches,  We can all hope and pray that We as a Church, can learn and move forward to Evangelize and portray our Faith in a truthful and positive light.

We can Pray that we don’t lose faith or become disillusioned like Paul Bäumer did in Erich Maria Remarque’s Novel “Im Westen nichts Neues” (All Quiet on the Western Front). 

Spreading God’s Word will be a Battle.  The path to the Truth is Narrow and Harrowing.  There are so many obstacles and dangers standing in the way.  It’s so easy to give up, walk away and give in to the temptation around us.

So I ask all of Our Readers to Pray for My Wife, the other Bloggers and the Church Officials attending the meeting. 

Pray that they come back with the Wisdom, Vision and Courage to Tell Everyone about Jesus’s Teachings.


National Marriage Week

Is Your Parish a “Marriage-Building” Community?

We are proud to join in the celebration of National Marriage Week. Our guest blogger today is Dr. Richard McCord, executive director of the Secretariat of Laity, Marriage, Family Life and Youth at the USCCB. He offers a reflection on the U.S. bishops’ efforts to highlight marriage as a pastoral priority, both at the national and local level.  

World Day of Day of Marriage (February 13) and National Marriage Week (February 7-14) provide us with an opportunity to celebrate, reflect and give thanks for the gift of marriage; also to realize the uniqueness of this call and its importance for the good of society.

The continuing vitality of marriage as an institution cannot be taken for granted. This is a lesson learned during the past four decades when our nation – including its Catholic population – has experienced a retreat from marriage. The marriage rate has declined; the cohabitation rate has increased; and the high divorce rate is holding steady.

A recent national study reveals the weakness of marriage among middle class Americans. Another raises the question of whether marriage has become obsolete as the basis for family life. National surveys are finding an increased acceptance of so called “same-sex marriage” particularly among the younger generation of twenty-somethings.

The continuance of negative social trends is not inevitable. Today’s data are not necessarily tomorrow’s destiny. Nothing will change, though, if we don’t take action now.

This is why the U.S. bishops established the National Pastoral Initiative for Marriage in 2004. They extended and deepened their commitment when they adopted the strengthening of marriage and family as one of their five priority goals in 2009.

The Catholic Church has a long and rich history of teaching about the meaning and importance of marriage and family life. Happy and holy marriages are a work of God’s grace combined with our human effort. Marriages are strong and enduring when they rest on three pillars: a transcendent vision, a range of skills that can lead to virtuous relationships, and a supportive community. Through theological, spiritual and pastoral resources, the Catholic faith tradition can help couples and communities put these pillars in place and thereby build strong marriages.

The centerpiece of this resource-based strategy is the 2009 U.S. bishops’ pastoral letter, Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan. The annual observance of Catechetical Sunday in 2010 also provided many educational resources on the sacrament of matrimony, and a new pamphlet series for engaged and married couples is also underway.

A second stage of the highly successful “What have you done for your marriage today? public service announcements campaign is now in production, this time emphasizing the social value of a good marriage. The 2007 radio and television spots, which utilized the comments of persons-on-the-street, got extensive airtime (equivalent of more than $20 million) and won several industry awards.

A major resource is the “for your marriage” website (www.foryourmarriage.org), a one-stop location featuring “resources for a happy and holy marriage.” It has articles on a wide range of topics, blogs, book reviews, daily marriage tips, Church teaching and even practical help for planning a Catholic wedding. These English-language resources have a Spanish-language complement in the website www.portumatrimonio.org and in a radio campaign that is currently in production.

In light of recent social and political developments, the bishops have also felt it necessary to organize an effort aimed at protecting the legal definition of marriage as the union of a man and a woman and at promoting a better understanding of this truth that is based on right reason and divine revelation. This project, consisting of catechetical materials and public policy advocacy (see www.marriageuniqueforareason.org ), responds to a growing challenge in our society. It affirms the teaching that marriage must be preserved, protected, strengthened and renewed in keeping with God’s plan for the good of humanity.

All these resources will not be fully effective unless they are joined to an even greater resource, namely, the Catholic people themselves. A huge potential force for good exists in the witness and service of married couples and families who live and worship in the more than eighteen thousand parishes throughout our country. What a difference it could make if every parish committed itself to become a “marriage-building community”!

This effort would not be a new program but rather a new attitude and approach to what the parish may be doing already. It would incorporate the three elements of a Christian vision of marriage, skills that lead to virtuous living, and supportive ministries within the community. Becoming a marriage-building church, particularly at the parish level, is what the bishops envision in their pastoral letter when they urge “a renewed commitment by the entire Catholic community to helping those called to the vocation of married life to live it faithfully, fruitfully, and joyfully.”